A Sexy Jutsu
by mukumuku
Summary: Naruto lives as a woman in hiding from the Leaf Village in the hidden Sand Village. Will the Leaf Village steal him back or will Naruto forget who he is and embrace his inner woman? Shonen-ai.
1. The life of Natsume Aya

A Sexy Jutsu By Mukumuku  
  
Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me. It belongs to Kishimoto-sensei. I just kidnap them and use them as models as they twitch in frustration. Plus I've only read till Toriyama last released and after that I read several translations but I'm just writing up a story based on up till that point. So if someone is dead. Er. Ack!  
  
"Sexy no Jutsu!"  
  
White mist floated in the air, sliding away from her body revealing features pleasing to the eye. Large poster boobs, a nice ass and a pose to tie it all together. Though the centerfold was clothing her body, she still chose a cute enough outfit to still allow the imagination work up ideas. A cute shirt with wings attached to the back and light blue shorts. She slid a hair clip to hold back a rogue strand of hair.  
  
Naruto Umazaki or "Natsume," his alias pushed the rest of her loose, blond hair behind her ears and gave the mirror a look over. He ran his finger over her cute lips, he was a miracle worker and his taste was too good. Natsume grinned, not a flattering grin, but one of Naruto's trademark toothy grins.  
  
"Natsume Aya's day is ready to begin," he clapped his hands together. He tidied the bedroom of his alias and moved over to the window.  
  
Unhooking the clasps he removed a board that covered his closed bedroom window. The fresh air poured in and washed away the stale smell. He reminded himself to close the windows to that sand would not come in. He lived on the outskirts of town, crumbling sand dunes where clear in view from his window. He let breathed in the clean air before closing the window and making for the coat rack.  
  
"You look good, Natsume, now for work." He grabbed her orange coat and opened the locked door. Natsume glanced around the hall for misplaced items as she walked down and headed to the kitchen. The house was feminine, it had previously belonged to a woman who ran away with her lover and never came back. Upon hearing the story Naruto, then and there, bought the house and never changed a thing. If the woman came back, there was no way in hell he giving her the house. He had grown comfortable and many of the neighbors would be greatly saddened if he left. In addition, he had heard and obtained ample evidence that she was not a 'nice' person at all. Natsume reached under the sink for his kettle and poured in some precious water.  
  
He had found rugs, condoms, and child pornography hidden there when he moved in. He investigated further and found worse evidence that would have landed the woman in jail. He handed over to the Kazekage for safekeeping in a vault. But on a lighter note, after numerous washing, she still had some nice clothing. She had good taste at least decoratively. A cute floral theme house, a house suited for a family. To bad it'd never have the children it longed for.  
  
Naruto took the kettle off the stove and poured it into the ramen. They didn't sell the same brand here, but it was a local brand and tasted of the village. It was nicer, but made him long for the leaf village brand. The Sand Village was highly envious of the leaf village and secretly boycotted most products. Ramen was one of them.  
  
He reopened an old volume of Icha Icha Paradise that lay on the table from the last time he opened it and began flipping through. Naruto wanted to read what Kakashi was mad about and now he found the trashy novel was suited more for his female counterpart.  
  
Kakashi was probably retired, probably with Iruka settled in some nice house in some far off village. He imaged Iruka in an apron by Kakashi's side, leaning over and asking him if he wanted more rice. Iruka probably and realistically won't go down without a fight.  
  
"I wonder what Sakura is doing. She's probably happily married too." He paused, "and Sasuke." The last time he saw him was after he left the hospital.  
  
It was three days later that he ended up fleeing from the hidden Leaf Village.  
  
Naruto clenched the book; the pang of homesickness had hit him once again.  
  
He missed his friends, he missed his home, he missed ramen.  
  
Naruto grabbed his chopsticks and dug in. He sighed, he would be eating ramen now but after breakfast he'd have to make his lunch box too. Being a woman was hard. Being a Jounen Instructor loved by his students was harder. And boy did they love him. His Gennin were great and they were bright students he was proud of, they would certainly become great Chunnin.  
  
Naruto placed a bookmark into his novel and reached for the 101 bento idea book. Natsume Aya had a special person to make lunch for too, and so did Naruto. He smiled, "on second thought, make that two bento boxes." He thought back to his two other friends grasping their stomachs and three hungry gennin.  
  
"Make that one huge lunchbox."  
  
He flipped to a fast, easy and tasty recipe that he had the supplies for. He had three free hours before he had to leave anyway, "I have to really get rid of this habit."  
  
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Natsume pushed through the crowds of mothers, awake and busy. She greeted and passed along her way. The shops were already beginning to open up. A woman was bargaining of the corner. Sand was being kicked into the air as small children played tag. Before she turned the corner she stopped and braced herself for the shouts of a small child's voice.  
  
"Natsume! Natsume-sensei!" The little girl pushed through the streets and people and presented an ointment bottle to Natsume with pride. "This is for yesterday! Thank you very much for saving me." Naruto smiled through the lips of Natsume. "It's okay really. It's the job of a ninja to protect the village; it's okay really. Look! I'm all better, there's nothing to worry about."  
  
The little girl sighed in relief, clasping her hands and bowed quickly. Her friends were already waiting for her around the bend, Naruto watched the girl cross the road and join her friend. Noticing Natsume still on the corner they waved a goodbye to he ninja savior.  
  
"Bye Natsume-sensei!"  
  
"Natsume-sensei you're the coolest!"  
  
"Morning, Natsume-sensei! Bye, Natsume-sensei!"  
  
"Take care," Natsume waved back to the students, she watched them slip away before returning on her way. Climbing up the many worn steps, she neared the some ninja's in training. The academy was to floors, it wasn't fancy but it was simply all a growing ninja wanted. Before meeting with her Chuunnin applicants she would have to meet the sand Kazekage.  
  
Students and ninjas alike joked on and relaxed outside the gate of the building. Several of her fellow senseis were smoking outside the front of the building. They stood casually, smoke trailing from their lips. Eyes dulled and bored as if having no other way to waste time.  
  
Natsume beamed, "morning, Rikka-san, Morimoto-san, Teguchi-san!"  
  
They merely raised a hand to wave back to their college.  
  
Rude. Naruto gritted he teeth.  
  
Rikka wasn't really much of a teacher. She was very feminine opting for a more fashionable outfit than a ninja garb. Her red hair was short, but professional. Rikka hated Natsume and considered her a rival for Morimoto's affections. Though a master at chakra she lacked other skills.  
  
Morimoto was the opposite, being overkill. He was strong and muscular. Arms thick with muscles. Perhaps lacking the resourcefulness of a true ninja. Natsume felt for Rikka. Morimoto would not return her feeling, being smitten with Teguchi  
  
Teguchi-san wasn't wearing the right thing and was totally ill prepared for an attack. He was so thin and pale it was a miracle he had become a Chuunnin and not a piece of paper. His hair was combed nicely and his glasses and his clothing neat and clean. He had eyes for Rikka, a flaw in itself.  
  
Such a vicious circle of adults, really, they weren't setting a good example for their students. He sighed, being a good and much loved teacher he had to stop Rikka before the young academy students arrived. "Rikka-san. Er. I don't think you and the others should be smoking here." Natsume waited to see her reaction. Only after a couple of more drags, Rikka responded by blowing some smoke into Natsume's face as a. Naruto boiled within Natsume, 'if I were, Naruto. I was Naruto.'  
  
If he were Naruto he would kick their Leaf Ninja asses. He was a jounen and of higher rank than all of them, and was already over qualified. He cracked Natsume knuckles in one fist, the other holding the cuff of Rikka's shirt. Rikka's shitty skills never would have been able to dodge it. Naruto left the village having a higher power than a Senin. He gritted her teeth. It was Natsume. He already was acting like such a woman. Where was man who strove to be Hokage?  
  
"Natsume, chill. She's only playing with you." Natsume didn't bother facing, instead Morimoto received a finger aimed at him that screamed, "shut the hell up!" Natsume kept her turned back on Teguchi. Though he liked Rikka and Rikka was worse to him. She wouldn't give him the time of day and laughed at his attempts of love. He watched like a hawk.  
  
It was a pregnant pause. Rikka gave up on struggling and braced for the punch. "Don't mess with me, you bitch." She dropped Rikka on the spot. Naruto made sure he gave a warning glance to Rikka before turning to go inside. When she reached the doorstep she checked if they were still smoking.  
  
They weren't.  
  
"Hopefully Kazekage didn't see that, what was the likeliness of that," Naruto grinned. "But still."  
  
Naruto bit own lip, the Kazekage wanted to see Natsume.  
  
She had to meet him.  
  
He felt flustered.  
  
Natsume turned around only to bump her head into the chest of the grand Kazekage himself. The Kazekage grabbed the woman's shoulders and straightened her posture. Naruto readjusted the Kazekage's robes and took a step back.  
  
"Good morning, Kazekage." Natsume glomped onto the struggling man in a tight hold. The other teachers and ninja's were heading into the ninja school noticed the spectacle between Natsume and Kazekage. "Natsume!" Gaara had long be trained to, when in and out of contact, call Naruto Natsume. His eyes twitched and he blushed. "If you act like this people are going to think that we're. involved."  
  
Natsume baited him on, making bashful gestures. Gaara took a step back for a safety precaution. He looked around for any source of help, but only saw an audience looking for drama.  
  
Batting her eyes and intertwined her fingers, Naruto leaned forward and hugged Gaara in front of the ogling crowd. "Oh Gaara don't be so shy, I notice you looking at my body too!"  
  
A tall teacher readjusted her goggles and stepped forward to correct Natsume's affection. "Natsume! That's no way to talk to the Kazekage."  
  
Natsume pushed forward relentlessly, stroking his back. "Oh Kazekage, you act so shy in front of the public eye when we've already--" She gestured obscenely, "AND--" The crowd grew uncomfortable watched all her hand movements, "AND--!"  
  
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"Gaara. I never." Rikka's face was a red blush. The students that should have long been in class were surrounded the scandal between their Kazekage and prize Jounen. Temari and Karukuno had arrived to break up the crowd. They both bore with serious looks on their faces, bearing bad news as always. Gaara rubbed his temple, irritated.  
  
Naruto grinned. He stopped quickly in fear that someone might recognize the smile. By now Natsume had let go of Gaara and threw his head behind his head, kicking his legs.  
  
"He came to ask me to marry him, didn't you."  
  
"Actually, I have some business to discuss," Gaara said in a serious voice.  
  
"Business means sex." This startled Temari for a second. No sister wanted to know her brother's sex life.  
  
"Natsume!" Gaara started to walk ahead to their destination point. Temari and Karukuno wordlessly followed behind.  
  
"Coming sweet ramen delivery boy!"  
  
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The sand couldn't reach the tall tower, yet it flew around it like a whirlwind desperately racing to get to the top. On the top of this tower Kazekage had gathered his three, most loyal Jounen together just for the bad news. "The Leaf Hokage has already arrived at the edge of the village," this could cost them the Chuunnin exams. It would be better for their economy if the Chuunnin Exams were held here. But that was not on the agenda.  
  
Natsume lifted her head, "how long ago was it."  
  
"Just now."  
  
Natsume clenched her fist and kneeled to punch the ground. "Shit!" Naruto knew this was coming. He knew. Yet already he felt like running away. He retracted the fist of Natsume Aya, the person with responsibilities in this country. Her Gennin needed her support and guidance. Her country needed her protection. And most of all Gaara needed her support. More than the Leaf Village, the people loved her.  
  
She who was not Naruto.  
  
"Same here, Naruto." Karukuno kneeled beside Natsume. He leaned back on the railing and looked again at Naruto. "The Hokage might not see through your excellent jutsu but he'll know who you are."  
  
"I can't return to Leaf country," Naruto muttered, "I can't. Not now."  
  
"I don't want you to leave, if you leave Gaara will brood." Temari smiled a nudged Naruto a bit. She showed worry in her face too.  
  
Gaara began to shift and move to exit the tower. He was Kazekage. He had no choice but to activate the events that were about to occur. "I have to go and greet them."  
  
Naruto stood up and dusted himself off. He joined Gaara by his side and held the crook of his arm. "I'll follow you where ever you go, as long as my name is Natsume Aya."  
  
"Nar-- Natsume." Gaara smiled. Temari and Karukuno shrugged and chased after the two who had begun to descend down the stairs. "Let's go greet those bastards, Natsume."  
  
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Author's Note:  
  
For those who are confused, Naruto is Natsume in jutsu form. Reading too much Tenjo Tenge, the name Natsume Aya comes from there. Forgive the names. I can think of none that are originally good. Gaara and Naruto?!? You'll find out why later. 


	2. Angel induced hallucinations

A Sexy Jutsu By Mukumuku  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Kishimoto-sensei (why do I call him sensei?) if someone said I did they are truly putting words in my mouth. They lie, I suggest you stop reading about these Internet rumors that say I do. Ahem.  
  
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"We've been walking forever," Sakura whined for the ninth time. She had only started whining after they had hit their third dead end. Now they had reached their fifth dead end, second detour, and eighth pit stop and still they had not stopped to eat food or drink water. They were set off three days and then afterwards their cart broke down and they were forced to carry their luggage over the vast sand dunes to the outskirts of town.  
  
From there they decided to split up into two teams. One to guard the luggage and other things, Kakashi, Iruka and Hinata were chosen to stay behind. Lee, Sakura and Neji were chosen to accompany the Hokage to the Academy and send back word once they got there. "To think that the others are waiting for us to send word, sitting under that roof. Waiting under the shade. I'm a little jealous." Sakura looked around to the others who were as tired as she was. They only looked at the scenery and their destination. Tall sand dune-like structures, bustling people, vendors shouting.  
  
The noise pushed their impatience and seemed to over take them all, now as they were nearing lunch the sun had gotten stronger. The people of the Sand Village seemed to be getting them nowhere and the only person to give them accurate information was a little girl that had run away screaming at one point.  
  
Finally back on the right road, yet tired from the last road, Sakura wrapped her arms around her fiancee's neck and blew into his ear playfully. "Lee. Carry me." A crimson blush came over Rock Lee. Sakura clung to his back happily. Lee didn't protest about the female Jounen he had begun to carry on his back scouting and jostling around with the added height. Just showing how whipped he actually was.  
  
Whipped being another word for in love, of course.  
  
"Sakura! Lee! Your behavior is inappropriate for people your age," Lee and Sakura giggled as the more serious Jounen reprimanded them, "you're making us look bad." Indeed the Sand villages were watching them and had been watching them ever since they entered town. Yet none of them had offered any sort of help whatsoever, as if they were buying time for Kazekage. What could he be hiding? He hated spies. If only they would offer some sort of directions.  
  
Neji touched his throat. It was dry from all the shouting. He was too tired, great Hyuga Neji, broken down by some sand and wind. Shameful.  
  
He decided to take a breather and sat down on the steps that seemed to lead on forever. Neji lowered his head in shame, "sorry, Lord Hokage, I'm just too tired." Neji lifted his head and watched the Hokage brush past him up the stairs. "Lord Hokage, are you all right. You should rest."  
  
The Hokage was the one pushing forward the most, determined to reach the destination point up ahead. The Hokage was overworking himself again. He was often troubled and said it times like this it was best to deal with a troubled mind by occupying oneself with tasks. "It's okay. I'm a little tired and the sun feels a little too hot."  
  
"Lord Hokage, you should rest before the sun gets you." Neji's voice faltered, there was no way he could reach him. Initially, he had helped Sakura and Ino push Sasuke towards a short vacation while on his trip to the Wind Country, but now he saw there was no way he could stand in the wake of the workaholic.  
  
"It's all right. That little girl seemed to have given us the right directions. See we're almost there." Indeed, the academy was up ahead and they were almost there but now the sun had gotten to be too much for him. It was too hot, he felt hot and his Hokage clothing weren't helping. It was at this point that he had begun to hallucinate.  
  
An angel seemed to be descending from heaven, down the stairs. His legs were getting wobbly and his balance was thrown off by an unknown source. Probably the worn steps had caused him to fall into her outstretched arms. Had this angel come to collect his soul? It was about time. He embraced his seemingly solid oasis without complaint. It was better than eating concrete.  
  
"Hokage-sama!" Shouts rang through the air, several people ran towards him but now he forgot who they were. The angel seemed to be shaking him back and forth, saying his rank over and over again.  
  
'I must be having heatstroke.' Sasuke smirked, he touched the Natsume's face. "Don't call me Hokage. You're the last person that should call me Hokage." He closed his eyes and then went limp in the bewildered angel's arms.  
  
'Naruto. How are you?'  
  
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Sasuke awoke to find himself inside, cold water being put in his mouth. He gulped the water down and opened his eyes. It felt cool as it ran down his throat.  
  
He was content, even though he felt a little drained of energy. The angel sat him up and placed a bottle into his hand. She wrapped his weak fingers around the bottle and let go of his hand once she was confident he was strong enough to hold on. She sat beside him and watched him gulp down the water hungrily. How long had she been watching over him?  
  
Sasuke looked around the room and his surroundings. He seemed to be in a classroom, which meant they arrived at their destination point. The curtain was drawn to make the room cooler, but the windows were open making the curtains billow. His savior was a woman after all, her outfit bore cute little wings on his back but she looked like a teacher with her serious face on. Touching his shoulder, she leaned forward to whisper in Sasuke's ear, "just wait right here. I'll bring in your friend."  
  
Natsume stood up and exited the room calmly and a few minutes later Sakura entered the room loud and angry. He looked disheveled and roughed up, Sasuke didn't recall there being a fight. However the constant bangs and shouts outside the door disturbed him slightly.  
  
Sakura's evil eye warned Sasuke to look at her when she talked. "Sasuke, how come you didn't tell us you had heat stroke!" Sakura placed her hands on her hips and tapped her foot waiting for an answer.  
  
"We would have stopped, it was a small matter." Sasuke gripped the wall trying to stand and leaned against it to hide his obvious weakness. "At least we got here."  
  
Sakura's face fell.  
  
She hated when Sasuke was like this. Either brooding or moping or pushing his body to the limit, he acted as no one cared or perhaps Sasuke cared too much.  
  
"Sasuke." Sakura sat on a table and faced Sasuke who tried to look away. "This is really irresponsible! As Hokage you have to look after your health!" Sakura had grown up to be more confident of herself and constantly mothered the depressed Hokage. She couldn't stand how childish the Hokage was acting and as the years without Naruto grew she was pushed more and more into Lee's welcoming arms.  
  
Besides, it was no secret among the circle that Sasuke was pinning for Naruto, but it was between Naruto and Sasuke. If it either Sasuke's rise to Hokage or Sasuke's treatment of Naruto but no one really knew the cause of Naruto's disappearance. Only Sasuke and Naruto.  
  
"Where did everyone else go?" He said absently trying to change the subject.  
  
Sakura sighed, "they went to put away their luggage at the hotel. They should be back soon." Temari and Kankuro had volunteered to go with Lee and Neji to where Hinata, Iruka and Kakashi were left behind. "However the hotel they booked for us might be a problem, we're five days late and all the other Kage's from other hidden village's have already left."  
  
"Who's left here?" Sasuke said surprised, they were that late? How much paperwork would be left for him at his office?  
  
Sakura emptied some sand out of the folds of her clothing, "Just Gaara, Natsume-sensei and I. Then there are the ninjas that go to school here and the teachers."  
  
Sakura held back her laughter.  
  
Natsume and Kazekage were having one hell of a time keeping many of the females away from the door. They dropped everything at a pin drop and ran over to see the fabled bishounen Hokage of Hidden Leaf Village. Many of them unmarried and single women, all of them fighting to get their chance at Sasuke's cold heart.  
  
Sasuke looked to the door where many females were shouting at Kazekage to let them in. For a second through the glass of the door he saw Natsume's laughing face. Sakura looked the direction Sasuke was looking at.  
  
'Ohhh. It looks like Sasuke's got eyes for that teacher already,' Sakura hid the pleasure he inner Sakura was having at all of this and the comments on Sasuke's blush. In the past she would have been angry that someone would get between them, but Sasuke was now her friend and she wanted more than anything that Sasuke open up again. Like in the days that Naruto was around and he'd get so angry or laugh or actually talk about something other than work. "Natsume-sensei is the one that carried you all the way here. She's pretty strong."  
  
Sasuke turned to Sakura who was having a good time absorbing all of the drama, "Natsume-sensei?"  
  
"Natsume Aya the woman whose arms you fell into. I was talking to some Gennin and they say that both Natsume Aya and Kazekage Gaara are pretty tight," Sakura caught her inner-Sakura and held her mouth before something slipped. "Gaara seems nicer now Aya's around."  
  
"So she's already taken?" He said sadly. It was then that Sasuke had an idea.  
  
A terrible, wicked, evil idea.  
  
"Sasuke. You're not thinking of stealing Natsume away from Gaara, are you?" Sakura poked Sasuke in the cheek affectionately.  
  
Sasuke grinned with new ambition now. "I'm tempted."  
  
"Sasuke, this isn't like you at all!" Sakura faked her shock, in actuality she was surprised that Sasuke would try this. But it wasn't like Sasuke to give up either. Sakura kind of liked this Sasuke. Though he was kind of dangerous sounding, it was a start for a change, Sakura's voice changed to let and undertone slip in. "Why Sasuke? Why now?"  
  
'C'mon Sasuke, admit it! You've fallen in love at first sight!' Screamed inner-Sakura that had struggled loose.  
  
Sasuke shivered.  
  
Sasuke knew this feeling.As if someone was breathing down his neck, someone he didn't want to upset.  
  
It was the Sakura confessional, as Naruto described it. Naruto suggested that Sakura should join the torture and interrogation squad for being able to pump information about Sasuke's personal life and feelings after they had become Jounen. Naruto was promptly beaten up.  
  
Sasuke turned his face towards the wall to hide his blush. "I know. But she just may be worth it. I haven't felt this way ever since Naruto."  
  
"Aya is not Naruto," Sakura reminded him with a stern voice.  
  
Sasuke sighed, "I know. But don't you think I'm ready to move on?"  
  
Sakura crossed her arms, "depending if you think falling in love with a girl who reminds you of Naruto again will mean that you've moved on." She leaned forward, "have you?"  
  
Sasuke ran his hand through his hair and smiled, "when I woke up I looked at her and thought maybe."  
  
Sasuke was interrupted by several bangs and finally Natsume and Gaara burst through the door and shut the door quickly, leaning on the door as a barricade. They both seemed to be breathing and sweating in unison and once they were sure the door was safely locked and closed they gave each other a thumbs up.  
  
Still there was the banging like a hurricane trying to level a house, "is the Hokage in there?! Come on Natsume! You have to give us all a chance! I heard he's really handsome!"  
  
Another voice, Rikka's probably whined after. "Come on Natsume-sensei! You have Kazekage all to yourself, give us Hokage!"  
  
"We're gonna take revenge by stealing your Kazekage away from you! Natsu~me!"  
  
Cackling evilly, Natsume pressed her face against the window and made faces at the women. "Don't you all have make-up to apply?" Teased Natsume.  
  
A melody of feminine voice chorused in realization that they forgot to 'freshen up' and abandoned the door in a hurry. A sicken screech of heels and crawling of nails was heard as they fought their way to a change room or washroom. Natsume poked her head out the door to enjoy freedom and an empty hall, "hah hah hah. Suckers!"  
  
And then there was when he saw it.  
  
Naruto.  
  
Naruto's expression, his body language. Naruto's tongue sticking out at the world and his laugh. This type of person he fell in love with. Aya turned to Kazekage holding the door open with pride beaming from her body like a firefly or a haystack set on fire.  
  
"Good job, Natsume." Gaara patted Natsume's head and in response she grabbed his hand trying to get Gaara to rub his own head. Sasuke looked between Kazekage and Natsume, such open affection. Gaara turned his head to the two watching, "you're welcome to join us for lunch or you could go sight seeing that our Hokage needs time to rest."  
  
Sakura shook her head and tried to gesture as much as she could a clear no. She had enough sand and sights for one day. She turned to Sasuke who seemed to have zoned out, "should we go have lunch now, honored Hokage?" She put back her good Jounen act for the rest of the world.  
  
"Would you like to join us? Natsume made enough food for all of us to share," added Gaara silently.  
  
"I would love to," Sasuke replied with a smirk.  
  
Gaara and Naruto felt a cold chill lick their spines.  
  
"I feel cold suddenly," Natsume pointed to the window blowing the curtains out of control. "I should close that window."  
  
Naruto winced, 'why do I feel like life is going to get a bit more harder?'  
  
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Author's note:  
  
I'm so glad people are reading this and like this. Thanks. Nora D for the Kanokuro so I can change it to Kankuro the correct spelling (double checked on Naruto Guide). I like the name Natsume Aya! Naruto needs it to hide. [Plug:] Read Tenjou Tenge. =Actually don't, it's perverted.  
  
Hah hah. My brain is really going. I spell check and print it out and spell check and there are still mistakes. Though I thought it was a mistake. Hm.  
  
Reading the reviews are really helping me write, I'm looking at them right now. I'm glad people like this fanfic. I'm hope you all like the Gaara x Naruto, Sasuke x Naruto love triangle.  
  
Nemi if I reveal why Naruto has to run away it'll ruin the story, but it will be revealed! (Strikes pose.) He's a jounen so he's an adult, I thought it was obvious that Sasuke would be Hokage. (I was going to make it Neji! XD)  
  
Glad you like the G x N scenes, SW. I like the Gaara x Naruto pairing a lot, had fun writing the scenes.  
  
Wuffielover, I'm only one man who types with one hand! (MY RIGHT!) Same to you Hinata, Arthravan, Michirukoshi. I hope I don't sound so mean. Thank you for all of your reviews, it's a lot for me considering I once got zero. I'll try to write as fast as Mukumuku-ly possible. You guys are helping me write! That and my word count. 2 760 words! Thank you again!  
  
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Next Chapter:  
  
Kazekage and Hokage eat lunch, will the two survive each other or Natsume. Or should we say, Naruto's homemade lunch of love? Some say love is poisonous, but so is a poorly made homemade lunch. Just because you have good looks, doesn't mean you're a good cook.  
  
Naruto watch out, it's you who may be eaten by bad luck!  
  
(Why have I started to write these weird previews, please review!) 


	3. The Spicy Love Affair Thing

A Sexy Jutsu By Mukumuku  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Kishimoto-sensei does. If I did there would be shonen-ai EVERYWHERE! And by everywhere, I mean in Sasuke's pants!  
  
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"Gaara, ahh." Naruto loved putting Gaara on the spot. He pushed the tip of the chopsticks forward to Gaara's lips giving Gaara the choice to eat or not. Gaara chose to take a bite of the meat, he always enjoyed meals that Naruto cooked.  
  
Sasuke looked at his portion of his food, warily examining it. He picked it up, closed his eyes and took a mouthful of it.  
  
Sasuke's eyes sparkled. Delicious! Gaara chewed on his bit of meat and swallowed it. He seemed to be enjoying the meal greatly. 'This woman is better than Naruto,' Sasuke nodded agreeing with himself. 'She can cook!'  
  
Naruto looked at Sasuke and noticed there was only the noodles that he had made on his plate. He also noticed that Sasuke was looking a bit left out, Naruto didn't want to get caught. But deep inside.  
  
With his chopsticks he quickly picked up a piece of meat and held it to Sasuke's lips. "Sasuke, ahh." Sasuke paused, 'am I hallucinating? Is this another mirage?' He gulped before he chewed the rest of his noodles in his mouth. Then he swallowed down his food, he parted his lips and Natsume popped the piece of meat into his mouth.  
  
He bit it in half and his mouth filled with flavor.  
  
It tasted good. This was too good to be true.  
  
Gaara watched Sasuke chew, jealously. 'How could you do that, Naruto.' he thought hoping that Naruto would hear him. Gaara took three years to get broken down. He wasn't too open unless he was beside Naruto, besides that he was almost the same person he was before.  
  
Of course he killed less.  
  
Even though he disliked Sasuke, Gaara was trying to be civil to Sasuke. It was the least he could do considering he was indebted to Naruto for his services and times he fought to restore the hidden sand village.  
  
After Naruto had left the hospital those all years ago, he seemed distraught. Willing to follow anyone anywhere, even into the depths of hell. Just to get away from the leaf village. Naruto was torn up inside and could barely eat but quickly became his own self. And soon before reaching the sand Village, her old self.  
  
--------------  
  
Gaara was forced to take up Kazekage from his father after he got fed up with Wind Country Lord's trash. His father was still alive now, but hardly spoke of matters aside of Gaara's duties.  
  
He hated it, having to take up post as Kazekage. Already two years and he wanted out, to protect people he didn't want to. His heart ached. Why couldn't he leave? Why did Naruto have to make him more human? Those were the things that occupied Gaara's mind as he watched the rain trickled down the window of a hotel in Leaf Village. Gaara was in the leaf village on business. It was raining hard, water pouring everywhere. He had never seen rain like this.  
  
He remembered that he hated the rain then.  
  
That's when Naruto knocked on the door. Gaara was in a bad mood, he thought it was another messenger with more bad news. Naruto was wearing nothing but his hospital smock and soaked head to toe. Gaara grabbed the knob to slam the door. He didn't need to hear what Naruto had to say. Naruto held the door open. If it wasn't for the sobbing, in the rain and his bad condition, he'd never had known.  
  
Naruto was crying.  
  
"Take me anywhere," Naruto said, his eyes hollowed out by some betrayal or unspeakable horror. It was then that Naruto looked at him, he was not handsome. He reminded him of someone, but couldn't say whom exactly.  
  
"Gaara. You're the only one who can take me anywhere." Naruto clung to that unfeeling Gaara of those years ago, tears rolling down his face. "I'll go anywhere as long as you take me with you. Away from here."  
  
What made him take him in?  
  
Gaara left then, carrying the little things he brought with him.  
  
He stepped into the rain and felt alive, he looked at Naruto. He was so beautifully fragile in the rain. So beautifully innocent. He remembered grabbing a large (hideous) green umbrella from a vendor.  
  
He remembered. He and Naruto leaving the village, Naruto catching a cold from running around scantily dressed. When he and Naruto fell in the mud due a miscalculated step, getting pegged for being robbers, sleeping in the mud, catching fish in the morning.  
  
At that second he decided to love the rain.  
  
--------------  
  
He traveled for a month with Naruto, occasionally sending word to his hidden Sand Village and his family. Naruto had urged him to keep in touch. When he returned Naruto had decided to live the rest of his life as Natsume by his side.  
  
Gaara remembered the day he brought Natsume to the village.  
  
They asked him if he got her pregnant. And then they.  
  
Gaara rubbed the blush off his face.  
  
It was Sasuke's doing that caused Naruto's pain. He gritted his teeth, he wished he were outside so he could crush Sasuke with his sand. He hated Sasuke. He was too perfect, too clean. He could easily find someone else.  
  
But not someone like Naruto.  
  
Sasuke would never find another like Naruto, Naruto was priceless and Gaara learned that everyday he fell in love with him.  
  
Gaara's chopsticks broke in his fingers. 'I'm not loosing Naruto to Sasuke. Never."  
  
Sasuke he felt his stomach suddenly lurch. Not only did he feel ill chi towards coming towards him from Gaara, he felt one leaking from behind Natsume-sensei. Natsume seemed to sense it to, yet she did not turn around to face the woman breathing down her neck. She attempted to continue to eat happily but it was took much, Natsume couldn't eat with this bad will towards her.  
  
"Natsume! This is the teacher's table! Right?" Rikka's voice was sharp and striking. Naruto felt daggers of hate stabbing the back of his head, he turned around slowly. Rikka held her bento box in her hand like a weapon, he make-up carefully applied to her face to harness the natural look of her face. It's application with precision and care, as like a soldier would apply war paint. Pink clothing enhancing her features, she was decked out for a battle.  
  
Naruto acted calmly and chose his words carefully, "I think it would be all right."  
  
Rikka smiled at the other women and her small victory. The women cowered silently waiting their turn. Too shy to approach the icy Hokage, yet jealous of their comrade's luck. "Find then, Natsume Aya!" She sat between Natsume and Sasuke, in the seat that had been Sakura's previously before she went to order her lunch. " Since you invited me, I'll sit down!"  
  
Natsume looked at her food on her plate. 'I didn't invite you, ugly bitch!' Naruto grinned internally. All he had to do was wait for Sakura to come back. She would take care of Rikka for him. Rikka wasn't a bad woman really, just man-hungry, turning thirty and bitchy.  
  
Naruto glanced around the room in front of him, no more approaching danger.  
  
A pair of hands slid over Natsume's eyes and a bubbly voice giggled, "guess who?"  
  
"Yuri," Natsume said automatically.  
  
The little pig-tailed girl growled. "No fair. Nor fair. Natsume-sensei always catches Yuri!" Yuri was dressed like a schoolgirl rather than a ninja as a disguise. Her cute light purple hair bounced back and forth, doing her dance of complaints. "Natsume-sensei! I looked for you everywhere but I couldn't find you."  
  
Sasuke looked up from the imported octopus that Rikka had put on his plate and spotted Yuri. He was going to shout, but Yuri had opened her mouth before Sasuke could speak. "Oh MY GOD! IT'S THE PERVERT!"  
  
Yuri began to dance from one leg to the other. "Natsume-sensei watch out he's a real pervert!"  
  
Natsume chuckled. Sasuke looked at Natsume looking for help. Gaara played with his broken chopsticks, not paying attention to a scene he was used to. Two Genin struggled past the crowd to the teacher's table to grab the squealing girl who added the already thick atmosphere. "I'm sorry, she's a little uppity."  
  
"Natsume-sensei---! Run!" Yuri waved her arms frantically, "save yourself!"  
  
"Behave yourself," Yuri stopped squealing and realized her situation. She went into a state of attention and smiled happily. The two genin released the girl who happily bounded to a corner of the table and ogled the food on the table, pawing at it.  
  
Natsume motioned with her hand, "Yuri, this is the Hokage, Sasuke Uchiha. Lord Hokage, this is the very special genin team I instruct. This girl is Yuri, she's highly skilled and though she's a bit young she was moved up to be a genin."  
  
Sasuke blinked, 'special indeed.' Rikka tapped his plate directing his attention back to the meal.  
  
Natsume continued on and motioned to an Asian boy with a scar running down his face. He had black hair to his shoulders and a serious expression. "This is Jin, he's quiet. Sometimes he says weird things, but he's a prodigy child." Natsume paused mid sentence "except he's a bit..."  
  
"Eccentric," Jin gave a small smile.  
  
"And this is." Natsume was cut of by a boy who had the looks of someone of European descent. His French accent was apparent and already he showed his emotion with the clasping of his hands. "Ma Cherie, I don't need a introduction from you. You rest your tired throat. You must have some sort of scuffle, you look pale."  
  
Natsume rested her cheek on her hand and elbow on the table. "I've been over worked," Naruto replied with a smile.  
  
The longhaired, curly blonde boy grabbed her hand and patted it. "Gaara, if you truly love the girl you should give her a little time to herself." Gaara thought for a second and realized it would give Sasuke too much leeway. Though Sasuke was already preoccupied with Rikka, forcing food down his throat. "Though she is a great Jounen, she deserves a little time to herself. Non?"  
  
"Idiot, you talk to much." Jin already seemed to have his own fan following and the circle around the table grew tighter. His fan girls cheered him on and gushed over his good looks.  
  
Jacques snapped back. "And you talk too little! You act like you will get noticed by sitting around and looking pretty in the shade, brooding about your pale skin." The fan girls began to yell at Jacques for putting down Jin. Jacques just ignored looking off to the side. Several women approached Sasuke with their precious bento boxes, wary of hissing Rikka.  
  
"Oh forgive me, I've forgotten myself. Bonjour! My name is Jacques Delacroix," the boy was quite handsome and yet feminine at the same time. "I hope we could all be good friends."  
  
Naruto enjoyed his misunderstood genin. He kind of reminded him of himself. Loud, obnoxious, itching to be heard. Always willing to prove himself, Vincent was the splitting image of himself. Come to think of it. Jin was the splitting image of Sasuke and Yuri. was. cute. like Sakura.  
  
"It's the girl who ran away," Sasuke uttered in a monotone voice.  
  
"Natsume-sensei. They were strangers and I kept trying to run away from them but they. they kept chasing after me." Yuri's eyes went all watery from all her fear, "you told me to stay away from strangers."  
  
"It's okay, Yuri," Natsume patted her head, "I did, my bad." Yuri was really young, made a lot of mistakes and needed constant reassurance. In addition she was missing a motherly influence, her father being a divorced rich merchant.  
  
He was like a mother to many genin, come to think about it.  
  
"Natsume-sensei." She wiped away her tears and her mood suddenly lightened when he saw the noodles trailing from Natsume's lips. "Ooooh! Bento!" She picked up Rikka's chopsticks, without thinking and began to eat the noodles Naruto's plate.  
  
She ate it was and looked into the back of her head for a reply, "it needs more spice."  
  
"I think it's wonderful," Gaara said finally.  
  
Sasuke put down his chopsticks. Two could play at this game.  
  
"I liked it too," Sasuke smiled his Prince charming smile to hook the crowd. Unfortunately, it was the when all the single women mobbed him at once. They decided that he had just said the magic words and made the clear for them to bombard the handsome critic with food.  
  
"It's looks like you made too much," said Teguchi who had strayed away from his seat on his way to the garbage. He nodded to himself. "It looks unbalanced."  
  
"Needs more vegetarian alternatives," Rikka added hastily edging more food on Sasuke's plate.  
  
"More spice!" Screeched Yuri, bouncing up and down clinging to Natsume's clothing. Natsume's shirt ripped down and it revealed her bra that had snapped with Yuri's constant pulling.  
  
"Takoyaki?!" And over eager girl was already offering some of her bento along with some other women to Sasuke's overflowing plate.  
  
That was when a piece of meat hit some girl's face.  
  
There was a pause.  
  
Silence.  
  
Shock perhaps. The meat had rolled off her face and fallen into her bento. Marring her "perfect" lunch.  
  
Then war exploded.  
  
Food was being thrown across the room from every direction to women and men, students alike. Naruto decided it was time to leave. He hardly got to eat any of his food and decided to later sneak out later for Ramen.  
  
Sasuke slipped away amongst the fighting. Gaara disappeared under the table using a technique he called crawling and made a note to pay the caretakers extra later.  
  
-----------------  
  
Sakura arrived. She was glad she got her bento but they seemed to have everything but the one that Sasuke liked. But now looking at the crowd gathered around the table that she decided she should have chosen faster.  
  
She worked up the strength to approach the table when a food fight exploded.  
  
Neji who had been deeply involved in his meal looked up and opened his mouth in shock at his surroundings. Unlucky that's when Rikka decided to throw Natsume's lunch at Neji, and thus in Neji's mouth.  
  
Neji closed his mouth and accidentally gulped it. He freaked out for a second and calmed down, wiping his forehead in relief. "This food tastes normal.."  
  
-------------------  
  
"No more rooms?" Sakura, Neji and Sasuke almost collapsed. Kankuro tried to get a deal but it was way to hard. There was a wedding for a famous merchant's daughter and their family were to large families becoming one. They all sat and stood in the Kazekage's cool office and despaired over their new situation.  
  
Temari shuffled from side to side worried, Naruto looked at the strong girl. "What is it, Temari?"  
  
"We put the luggage at your house, Natsume," Naruto looked up from the tear on his shoulder, he remembered he gave Temari his emergency key.  
  
Temari giggled nervously, "it was because we thought we would pick it up if there was room at the hotel." Temari lowered her head, she should have said no but they were too hot and it was only going to be a while. Naruto sighed sympathetically. He couldn't really blame her. She tried her best.  
  
"There's plenty of room at your house, Natsume, it WAS build for a family," Naruto looked over his shoulder. Rikka was still stalking Sasuke and had stalked him all the way back to the Kazekage's office. "What? Teachers are allowed here."  
  
Despite this, Natsume still kicked her back out.  
  
'Natsume-sensei. Bought a house with the intention of a family? Does that mean she's looking for a husband?' Sasuke gulped. Was he willing to be a husband? A father?  
  
'Naruto bought a house with the intention of a family. Does that mean he wants to have kids?' Kankuro thought, 'I don't think he has the proper equipment. Wait! Can a jutsu do that? I hope not. Maybe he's adopting.' Kankuro looked at his brother over his shoulder. Gaara?! A father?  
  
Kankuro cleared her throat, "we can take Sasuke, Neji but Gaara doesn't have enough room in his house for Kakashi and Iruka."  
  
'My house?!' Gaara looked to Sasuke who looked back with such hatred suited for great love rivals.  
  
"I'd like to stay here if you don't mind," Hinata spoke quietly. She blushed shyly, "I won't be that much trouble. I'll. I'll even help. Cook."  
  
Sakura nodded. "Me. Me too!"  
  
"Na-Na--" Natsume turned to face a stammering Iruka.  
  
Natsume paled, 'SHIT!'  
  
Natsume ran forward and embraced Iruka, forgetting about her ripped shirt. "Iruka! Er. It's been so long! It's me! Natsume Aya!" Naruto whispered to Iruka through gritted teeth. //"Keep your mouth shut."//  
  
Iruka whispered back with the same way. //"Naruto! What are you here!"// Iruka smiled and patted Natsume on her bare shoulder, frantically. "What have you been doing all this time."  
  
"I've become a teacher, took a page from your book." Naruto and Iruka inched away from the crowd slowly as they spoke. Sasuke raised an eyebrow. //"I'm hiding, what does it look like?"//  
  
Sakura smiled, she stepped closer. "Ooh! Iruka. Is Natsume your friend?"  
  
"I'm. His." Naruto was stumped, all these times and he couldn't say a word.  
  
"Ex-girlfriend!" Iruka exclaimed.  
  
"Ex-Girlfriend!?" Everyone looked at Iruka as if they never even heard it. The room erupted into whispering and odd glances.  
  
//"Ex-Girlfriend."// Naruto shook his head.  
  
"Ex-Girlfriend." Kakashi raised an eyebrow, he thought about his lover with the young teacher and thought how he ended up coming into the picture. Then Kakashi's Icha Icha Paradise mind slipped into perversion, 'kinky.'  
  
----------------  
  
Author's note:  
  
The food was normal, it's like they say, it's the company you keep people [DON'T DO DRUGS] that makes food taste good. The sexier the woman/man, the sexier the food. Yah?  
  
Changed the story type from general-romance, to romance-humor. Took of non- member reviews.  
  
Ahah hah hah. Vincent Delacriox: the gaijin that no one likes, nah, I'm joking. I hope the French readers (who can read English or you would not be reading this, non? NO!) do not get offended. I've been playing .Hack//sign infection. The Noble Grunty always says, "mon ami!"  
  
I'm being influenced.  
  
Eternal Radience, I'm actually updating now. Thanks. I worry. The OOC-ness.  
  
Remember! Natsume=Naruto! Annachan. It's easy as 1234354446, and I don't mean counting. I meant saying. J/K. I thought it was easy to understand. That's just what they call him or think he is. His alias.  
  
Cheryl-chan, I agree! Lee deserves SAKURA! Go Lee! Love! Love! I like Sasuke too. Sorry of some of the situations he gets into. I like Gaara the most. Poor Gaara. He deserves some lovin'.  
  
WuffieLuver, is still with me. I'll fight on and I gots Dan Inverse and Vampire Goddess Jekyll. Hrawr!  
  
Shadow of Arashi, there shall be more Kakashi! I might take you up on that one thing. I hope you don't mind.  
  
SW, you were right. I don't know if they're in character or anything. I hope so. That'll make it spicier. We need more spice!  
  
Nemi and Nora D are always helping me out. I'm so slippery. You can probably see my spelling mistakes. That's good. At least I know someone can. Because I can't. [Do not spell check, you're great reviewers.]  
  
Nemi. When I reveal it why, I'll tell you this: "it'll be sexellent."  
  
-------------  
  
Next Chapter:  
  
"Naruto. Do you use that women's bathhouse or the men's?"  
  
The answer!  
  
Naruto doesn't bathe!  
  
Gross? But that's after shopping. More Sasuke x Naruto past revealed!  
  
Why does only Iruka know? More scandal!  
  
Where's Kakashi. We all need more Kakashi. He's gonna do something..  
  
Sexy.  
  
[Review and you dreams may come true unless. Uh. More shonen-ai, kids?] 


	4. Looking for THE Love

A Sexy Jutsu By Mukumuku  
  
Disclaimer She was an author, she hailed from Canada where it snowed, it's snowed, it snowed. He was a mangaka who hailed from Japan, he wrote of ninja's who turned into women. His name was Kishimoto-senei. Her name was Mukumuku. She took his work, crediting him with all her glory that the angels smiled down from the heavens and then justice lived again. Justice lived again.  
  
------------  
  
"I love you," Naruto looked up at Sasuke. He had not changed out of his Hokage's clothing after returning from his duties in the village. Sasuke was a very busy man and not being able to reach the rank of Hokage, Naruto ended up supporting him with meals and what he needed.  
  
"Shouldn't you be." Sasuke interrupted Naruto with his kisses. Sasuke had not seen Naruto for three months and he was getting overworked. He needed to relieve stress.  
  
"Paperwork can wait," Sasuke brushed a strand of hair out of Naruto's eyes. "We still haven't."  
  
Sasuke pushed Naruto on the couch and pinned him down so that he couldn't protest. "Sasuke!"  
  
Sasuke started to slip his hand into Naruto's pants. "How am I supposed to take my husbandly duties seriously if I can't even get with my wife?"  
  
Naruto frowned, Sasuke was saying this now but he knew everyone would be on his ass later if Sasuke didn't hurry his behind off to his next meeting. "I'm not you wife!" Naruto gritted him teeth and shoved his hand against Sasuke's cheek. "I'm your lover. Be more romantic."  
  
Sasuke cocked an eye and examined Naruto's clothing. He was wearing his normal orange outfit with some slight alterations here and there. His precious headpiece was removed and placed on the table. Sasuke tugged at the article of clothing around Naruto's waist, cocking his eye. "A lover that wears a frilly apron?"  
  
The stealthy Sasuke leaned in for another attempted stolen kiss. Naruto intercepted and placed a finger on his lips. "You have a meeting today at lunch."  
  
Sasuke grimaced, started thinking and stopped. He started to tug at his own clothing. "Screw it."  
  
Naruto grabbed Sasuke's earlobe and blew in his ear. Sasuke blushed and made a move to remove his pants when Naruto whispered in a husky voice, "even one with Raikage?"  
  
Sasuke moaned he looked through his head. "Tomorrow how about."  
  
Naruto a step ahead cut him off. "You have a meeting to discuss project funding."  
  
Sasuke bit his lip. He looked through his memory harder. "We continue this on---"  
  
"You're booked until the end of the month with things you can't cancel." Naruto and Sasuke where now sitting on opposite ends of the love seat. Sasuke looked at Naruto, rubbing his temple. Naruto sighed and went into the kitchen to make Sasuke some tea.  
  
Sasuke dropped his head and sighed. "I'm sorry."  
  
Naruto slipped his fingers around the kettle handle concentrating his thoughts on pouring water, "I know."  
  
Naruto suddenly paused and remembered something Sasuke could put off. It was his lucky day. "Oh yeah. And some villagers said they wanted to talk to you this afternoon, said it was important. No details." Naruto turned from his slowly boiling water and beamed, "you think you can put it off."  
  
Sasuke's eyes widened. He turned away so he didn't have to face Naruto. "I can't. It's important. You know. village stuff."  
  
Naruto's heart stopped.  
  
Sasuke was the Hokage. He was always improving the quality of the village making everyone happy. The Hokage was always great. Everyone adored him. People aspired to be like him. Sasuke was worshipped in school and Naruto was wrong thinking that he could beat Sasuke out there. As if he could ever be as loved as Sasuke. Respected as Sasuke.  
  
Being Sasuke's lover made it even harder. Now they hated him for being loved by Sasuke, he had to get his mind off of it.  
  
"Oh. What's it about." Naruto inquired.  
  
Sasuke stilled looked out the window, "I'm not obliged to say."  
  
Naruto was hurt for a second. When had he and Sasuke grown apart? He never usually tried to pry into his life as others did. But he felt like.  
  
Naruto flashed his teeth in a smile to reassure Sasuke that it was okay. "C'mon Sasuke, you have several minutes." Naruto bowed down to the Hokage in a respectful manner, something he only did away from the prying eyes of persecutors. Naruto jokingly batted his eyelashes, "please? For me?"  
  
Sasuke turned around slowly and looked at Naruto cold and unfeeling.  
  
Naruto felt a pang of raw emotion, as if Sasuke wasn't looking at him at all.  
  
As if he was looking through Naruto. As he were looking at someone else. A killer, a rapist, a monster. Naruto stepped back knocking the kettle off the stove. Naruto panicked. He thought rapidly, choking on air. 'Sasuke. Not you too! Anyone. Anyone but you!'  
  
Naruto edged closer to the stove trying to create as much distance as possible that he felt the heat, it was too hot. He was sweating. But that was because Naruto was afraid of turning his back on Sasuke. He reached him hand behind him to turn the heat off, blindly.  
  
Sasuke spoke. It was like time freezing as a thousand kunai's hit Naruto's heart. "It's about you."  
  
That's when Naruto burned himself.  
  
{Memory End} -------------------  
  
Kazekage and Hokage looked at their teacups, trying to avoid eye contact with each other. The meeting had broken out into a verbal fight in which Gaara started to insult Sasuke on his tactics and that Sasuke was a coward trying to erase the Sand Village. Sasuke returned the fact that Gaara was an incompetent leader and a killer, at that. Morimoto, Teguchi and Kankuro who sat behind Gaara decided they needed a break then and there to cool off.  
  
Sasuke sipped the tea. 'Naruto used to make me tea like this all the time.' He clutched the cup in his hand afraid of loosing the memory. He looked up at a blissful Gaara. Gaara noticed Sasuke's watching him, but he feigned disinterest.  
  
Gaara knew things about Sasuke. Things he was afraid to tell Naruto, things that he could use against Sasuke to keep him away. Make him realize that he was unworthy of the fox possessed boy.  
  
"I heard a rumor that you---" Sasuke's eyes burned with anger and he reached into his pouch retrieving a throwing weapon. His hearing shut off but knew what Gaara was saying. Gaara was mocking him.  
  
Once his hearing came back he settled his weapon in his lap. He breathed in and out, trying to retrieve his common sense.  
  
Gaara looked up and smiled, "congratulations, Sasuke."  
  
Lee and Neji stepped forward and held Sasuke back from Gaara he sat quietly, not noticing Sasuke's shouting and attempting to escape from their grips. Gaara looked through his paper, "wow. We could use the money for that one," Gaara thought aloud not even noticing his attempted murder.  
  
"Shut up!" Sasuke pointed a kunai at Gaara's throat, his eyes glowing with anger. "Don't talk about them lightly like that! I'll kill you."  
  
------------  
  
"Natsume! Try this! On!" Sakura handed Natsume another dress. Naruto added it to the pile of growing shirts and dresses. Natsume sighed, Naruto knew he was going to be a woman. But this was overkill.  
  
Temari smiled and nodded, "I agree, it'd look great on you. Natsume, Sakura, I'm going to go check out the lingerie store across the street. I'll be back."  
  
"Okay, Temari." Even though one could not see his facial features Hatake Kakashi was grinning happily, for the day he was given permission to be Temari's fashion advisor and now Temari was dressed better than ever. He followed after Temari like a puppy, almost skipping to the lingerie store.  
  
Natsume headed to that back room of the store where many of the stalls were white and unworn clothing and department hangers lay strewn on the ground. He chose the cleanest stall and kicked the unworn clothing out the stall door. Sakura followed her and stopped in front of the closing door. Natsume poked her head out the semi-closed door and smiled.  
  
Sakura looked a bit trouble, Naruto knew she had something to say now. Naruto moaned internally. "Is it okay if I talked to you while you dressed?"  
  
Natsume shrugged, "sure? Why not."  
  
Sakura decided to start out by introducing Naruto. "You may not know this, but it was quite famous news around Leaf Village," Naruto tore off his ruined shirt with annoyance. He knew the story Sakura spoke of. They were still talking about him after three years, even though they acted as if he never existed. "When Sasuke first became our Hokage in Leaf Village, Sasuke was in love with a man named Naruto."  
  
"I heard rumors about it." Natsume replied with the frustration of removing her pants.  
  
"It was said that Naruto was the reincarnation of the nine tails fox." Sakura held the memory of their friendship in her mind. "Naruto was such a nice guy."  
  
Sakura bit back her anger and repulsion, "Naruto was hated by the villagers, one day he disappeared for no reason. When he came back he was practically ripped apart." Sakura shuddered at the memory. She had heard some Genin had found him half-alive. "Something human or more like inhuman, since what they did to Naruto was cruel. Not even animals were that cruel."  
  
"Three days later Naruto left and went missing. He's missing today." Sakura finished off the history for Natsume. 'She must not know her connection to Sasuke. I should tell her.'  
  
"Aya, you look a lot like Naruto," Naruto held back his laughter. If she only knew, he looked at his dress. It was the only one her considered trying on. He hated it. He was re-buying the same shirt over so that was settled. He moved to unlock the door when Sakura spoke again. "Are you a Sasuke seeker?"  
  
"Huh?" Naruto paused. How much had changed in three years? Sasuke Seekers?  
  
"They're women who sometimes dress up like Naruto and try to win Sasuke's heart. They think that being Sasuke's wife will lead them to fame and fortune and they're somewhat right." Sakura knew this, as long as Sasuke had a Sasuke Seeker in his favour, she saw her old dream coming true.  
  
"After the event people found out about Naruto and Sasuke and the women started to dress like him. They thought it was what he liked," she remembered trying on Naruto's clothing with Ino when they were cleaning out his house. How much they had laughed at Naruto's expense, "I thought it was really funny for a while. They had a fanclub for him and everything. I was a member for a short period of time."  
  
"And then." Sakura had to tell Natsume-sensei. She knew she had to tell her, because she was not a Sasuke Seeker and that Sasuke deserved to get a descent woman like Aya. "Sasuke started to date them. But what he really wanted to do was rebuild his life and have a family."  
  
Naruto closed his eyes. He didn't want to hear this.  
  
"He ended up getting a friend of mine pregnant," Sakura paused as she heard the clatter of hangers fall to the ground.  
  
'No.' Naruto knew that Sasuke would not stay with him forever. It was just.  
  
"Are you okay Natsume?"  
  
"It's just the shock." Naruto faked a laugh.  
  
Sakura tried to act as if she weren't sad reminiscing about Sasuke's past. "He ended up doing the right thing and married her but. She was like the others, looking to get with Sasuke." Sakura remembered her friend, how happy she had been. Sakura had started going out with Lee shortly after. "But, she was different. For a short while Sasuke was really, really happy."  
  
Natsume paused in her tracks, 'is that why Sasuke looking so tired out? Did she leave him or cheat on him?'  
  
Sakura paused. It was hard for her, saying the next part. "She died giving birth to a son." Naruto leaned against the stall putting her shorts back on, 'so that's what happened..."  
  
"Her name was Yamaka Ino, she was a friend of mine."  
  
Naruto paused, Ino? Ino. He remembered her. At least it was someone he knew. Someone who was desperately in love with a man that no one dared to love and dared to love no one. Not even Naruto, who he tried to desperately. He understood her feelings and knew that Sasuke would not stay single forever. If it were someone else, he'd be upset. But. Ino was just like him, madly in love with Sasuke.  
  
Naruto felt guilty. He never thought Ino would die though. Ino looked to be a strong ninja. 'But I guess it doesn't change the fact that she died.' Naruto gathered his unwanted clothing in a messy pile. 'Already someone has died for my choice. But. I guess that those few years Ino had with Sasuke would have been the happiest of her life."  
  
Sakura continued on, raising her finger in the air recalling the image of Sasuke's son. She remembered the day he was born, looking a lot like a mini Sasuke. Born with a frown. "His son is really cute, his name is Daisuke. He was born almost a year ago. Sasuke didn't even know what to do with him when Daisuke was first born, but now Sasuke's a proud father." Naruto created an image of Sasuke trying to feed a crying child that refused milk. He couldn't believe it, if only he was there to see it. "He's all right now, he's with Ino's parents now that Sasuke's on a trip."  
  
Sakura. Was trying to get him to like Sasuke. Naruto decided not to take that bait. He closed his eyes and spoke with clarity. "I love Gaara."  
  
Sakura remembered the closeness he's seen with Gaara and Natsume, such closeness. "I know. I wanted to tell you if Sasuke falls for you, he's only looking for Naruto." Sakura knew in her heart it was better to tell Natsume the truth about Sasuke, Sasuke would be relentless in his pursuit. Because of all the women she bore not only the haze of Naruto, but she also had the kindness that Ino had shown him and motherly instinct that Daisuke required. Natsume opened the door, she had chosen to buy the angel wings shirt and wore it. Natsume tucked the ripped shirt under her arm "But. If you're really willing to give him a chance, please be good to Daisuke and please take care of Sasuke."  
  
Natsume nodded to Sakura, making eye contact with the mature woman that he had not had the pleasure of knowing in depth. He walked to the cashier, his mind occupied with thoughts of Sasuke, Ino, and Sakura as children he had grown up with.  
  
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[Oh no, SELF INSERT/]  
  
Mukumuku: Hah hah. Made you believe Sasuke wasn't a father.  
  
Audience Member: But didn't you say something like: "Sasuke? A father?" Like he wasn't a father? Unprove that!  
  
Mukumuku: That was me talking! That was my author's voice slipping in, if it wasn't an author's voice it'd be in brackets. Bwah ha hah~!  
  
Audience: Booooo! Stop lying to us and covering up your mistakes.  
  
Mukumuku: That's not true, I planned this from the beginning! To lead you on!  
  
Audience member: That's diabolically evil! To us and Sasuke!  
  
(Sasuke is weeping in the background)  
  
Mukumuku: Hey you. I didn't ask for your opinion. I in the fanfic writer. AM GOD!  
  
(Background: On a banner, "Mary Sue Forever"]  
  
Audience: (All whispering:) Let's kill her.  
  
[/SELF INSERT END, bloody death by mass mauling.]  
  
--------------  
  
Many women hid their disgust as they watched Kakashi look through the panty pile at the women's lingerie store. 'I don't know what's their problem is. I'm enjoying myself immensely and I'm helping Temari find a cute design.' Kakashi flipped through the multicolored panties with stride.  
  
Iruka returning from the long line up at market breathed heavily, looking around to see if he could find Kakashi and the others. He looked up to see a sight that would take his breath away.  
  
Kakashi in a woman's lingerie store, buying panties. "KAKASHI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE!?" Iruka gasped for his breath back, he felt like a mother with a two-year-old that had knocked over a display case of expensive china.  
  
Kakashi lifted up a pair of pink panties, high so that Iruka could see. Kakashi didn't even have to remove a single weapon for the death move.  
  
"This is your color---" Iruka's heart exploded, he dropped the bags of groceries he was holding. A lone apple slipped out of a bag and rolled. Kakashi finished his sentence with pride, "---Temari."  
  
"Oh thanks! I'd look and feel great in this!" Temari looked at the color, thankful of Kakashi's good taste and style. Besides, every woman needed a gay friend. She passed Hinata on the way to the sales clerk. Hinata was pawing through the lacy cream colored bras, unable to pick up the one she wanted. She didn't want her Academy teacher to see the bras she was to wear, even though she knew which one she wanted to buy. "Iruka-sensei."  
  
Iruka was watching her for a while. She looked embarrassed and he didn't understand why until he realized the reason. "I'm. I'm. I'm sorry. Hi-hi- Hinata!" He attempted to nudge Kakashi away who was already looking through the racks of bondage outfits. "Ca-Can-Can I talk to you for a second?"  
  
"Me?" Hinata had picked up the bra and was trying her best to crumple and hide it from Iruka.  
  
"N-n-no!" Iruka stammered.  
  
"Me." Temari pointed to herself from across the store as the sales clerk was folding away her goods.  
  
"NO!" Iruka shook his head frustrated. He looked at the apple that had fallen on the ground. It lay outside the store, slightly bruised. "Kaka- Kakashi!"  
  
Kakashi was playing with a crop, testing it out on a scantily clad mannequin. Kakashi looked up from the mannequin with an evil glint in his eye, "what's wrong?"  
  
Iruka shoved the groceries in Kakashi's arms, tossed the crop into the air which it landed in the panty pile. He hurried his lover out of the store. A safe distance away from where he threw the crop.  
  
He picked up the apple and began to clean it on his clothing, looking around nervously. Kakashi blinked, wishing he still had the crop in his hands. Iruka manage to get out his jumbled words finally with a lot of effort. "IhavetotellsomeonethatnatsumeayisnarutoorI'mgoingtoexplode!"  
  
"Natsume is Naruto, I had an inkling it was him." Kakashi scratched his head, "but if it wasn't and you were telling the truth I was going to ask her to join us."  
  
Iruka paused. 'Join us.' It took a long time for Iruka to register what Kakashi was saying. "Join us?! Kaka. Kaka. Kakashi?!" Iruka was turning as bright red as the apple he clutched and was diverting his embarrassment into it.  
  
"Hey, that means I'll just find another way to spice up our sex life," not that he was bored, Iruka needed a lot of coaxing to even get into bed. He needed to be in the mood and he had tried all the normal stuff he could to get Iruka in the mood. "Naruto's technique is pretty nice."  
  
Iruka blushed more and fed up with nonsense, he looked Kakashi in the eye. "I'm not being a woman," Iruka said straight out, taking back the groceries into his arms.  
  
Kakashi wandered back into the store much to Iruka's dismay and reached onto the self pulling a feminine piece of lingerie and holding it to his body.  
  
"How would I look in this?" Kakashi teased.  
  
Iruka's heart exploded for the second time in that day.  
  
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Author's Note:  
  
Oww.. My stomache. Anywho! Poor Ino died. I had to sacrifice someone. And I though, why not Ino? You win some. You lose some. Actually I did plan it out this way, somewhat, but I screwed up some writing. I then thought. Dagnabit! Leave it in.  
  
If I have some spelling errors forgive my soul so it may pass onto heaven.  
  
Half wrote chapter five, will have Gaara, Sasuke and Naruto in the bathroom together.  
  
IN THE NUDE!  
  
Atomstar, can you see my spelling mistakes when you re-read my fanfic. I do. (Tears.) taikoubou42, you have the same wish as many. Hazar! (Reads list:) Vampire Goddess Jekyll (may your dreams come true!), Lady Dragon, Silver reviewed thrice! And Pantantlantic, um.. Dan Inverse. I shall grant it now! .  
  
There.  
  
It's done.  
  
WuffieLuver, I've made it harder. Sasuke's got issues and Gaara's. He's cool. Athravan, I hope this chapter suits you. I promise you more angst and less Mary-sueism!  
  
M-i, I'm joking! He does!  
  
Sun. Don't worry. There's going be. (trails off)  
  
SW, sorry for all the past revealing killing the humor. Added Kakashi spice. Kakashi wants a more interesting love life. (nods)  
  
Cheryl-san, Naruto's "special" Genins are essential herbal essences for this fanfic! They're parallels of his old genin team. Jin=Sasuke Jacques=Naruto Yuri=God knows who! Lee will come soon! He will sweep Sakura away to their love room!  
  
Nora D, I'm glad you're okay with Jacques. Whew!  
  
Nemi, I though Lee would be twice as ugly and ten times as charming to make up.  
  
Kakashi wants to utilize it for a better sex life. See, review and your dreams come true. Go thank Shadow of Arashi for that one.  
  
Kira, you had me gasping for a second. Forgive my OOC. They're older and angsty. Neko Nicole. I have a chapter for you. I promise you more. N-oooo! Tsuki-tsu-ten-tsu-tsu--- aw, too long.  
  
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Next time on a very special A Sexy Jutsu  
  
We're previewing ahead to god knows what chapter.  
  
Naruto finally takes his long awaited bath.  
  
Naruto. Don't bathe in the Kage's special bathroom. Kages bathe there. That means Sasuke and Gaara. And is there any room for Sasuke x Gaara/Gaara x Sasuke in an already Sasuke x Naruto, Gaara x Naruto fanfic. Gaara. Your mascara scares me. Where are you eyebrows?  
  
Naruto. Don't invite horny people into your house if you intend to sleep tonight. Kakashi looks good in lingerie. Can Iruka resist having sex in his pupil's house? Apparently not. But Mukmuku can't write sex scenes so it's going to be okay.  
  
Naruto, don't accept invitations you can accept. Naruto, don't date two people at once.  
  
Naruto. Naruto? Naruto. Noooooooooo!!!  
  
Mukumuku needs to get chapter 5 and 6 and possibly 7 uploaded on the same day. For some drastic changes and some super love. Be there. Or be square.  
  
[Review or Naruto ends up with Orochimaru. And if you want that. Review some more.] 


	5. A Short Bath Interlude

A Sexy Jutsu By Mukumuku  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
I, Mukumuku lawfully say with all my soul that, Naruto: the work of our beloved Kishimoto-sensei does not belong to me.  
  
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"I'm soo sweaty, I'm starting to smell like Lee," Sakura complained, "and that's after training!"  
  
Hinata was looking through her bag, pulling out soaps and a towel. Sakura was kicking her legs on Natsume's guest bed; she sat up and looked around the room. It was really a cute room, probably for a daughter. The house was really lonely without people, a house to big for Natsume alone.  
  
It made her feel uneasy, as if this house held a dark secret or harbored some ill will towards its residents.  
  
She wrapped the towel around her body, bored. It was already decided that they would take a bath, Natsume couldn't even protest before Sakura gotten her towel out. Sakura had been cut off by Natsume's agreement, none of them had bathed in several days and they already reeked of hard labor. The sun was cruel to those who were not of the sand country and understood why those of the Sand Country were so hard headed and cold. The desert never gave freely.  
  
Natsume poked her head into the room, "it's not far from here, it's a nice place. You'll enjoy it." Naruto had left Iruka to put away the food and Kakashi was also retrieving a towel into a bin that he had been given. Natsume had already worked out the technicalities with Temari. He didn't want anyone to interrupt his personal time.  
  
In fifteen minutes everyone had assembled by the door. Temari had returned with her bath stuff and waited to take care of Natsume's guests. "There's a bathhouse not to far from here," Temari pointed to a building only four blocks away.  
  
Sakura was already running there, "I'll meet the rest of you there!" Hinata trailed behind Kakashi and Iruka, before Iruka stopped mid step. "I'll meet you at the bathhouse, Naruto."  
  
Aya was already in the house by then, the door shut and locked behind her. She had no intention of joining the girls in the female's bathhouse. He didn't think it was right. Surprisingly, after all these years. He didn't think it was right. How the times had changed.  
  
"Iruka-sensei." Hinata tugged and Iruka's shirt. Kakashi turned around already several steps ahead to look at the two that had stopped suddenly. "Did you just call Natsume, Naruto?"  
  
----------------  
  
Naruto Umazaki looked at the private bath and sighed, he had sent the others to the bathhouse near his house but no one knew about this secret bath reserved for Gaara and eventually himself. Of course Gaara never had time to utilize this precious resource with him. "What a shame."  
  
It was located near Gaara's home where he could go when he was tired and needed to relax in peace.  
  
Naruto quickly undressed out of his women's clothing and released his jutsu. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. Scars running along his body, all his features marred. His youthful body gone to waste, they made sure whatever that had damaged was something he could hide.  
  
His hatred for them seared in his heart. That was why he had to leave Leaf Village. To stop himself from killing them.  
  
Them and Sasuke, who had betrayed him to them. Now he no longer cared, as long as he had Gaara and the others, he'd be all right. He had long forgiven Sasuke. He had never really hated him. It was the overwhelming sense of betrayal that got him.  
  
He grabbed his towel and some of the flowery bath toiletries with him. He began to wash off the dirt and grime off his body till he was clean. He could feel the cuts, deep and merciless on his skin, it was unpleasant. The splash of water calmed his soul and reminded him of the ocean that he and Gaara had traveled to.  
  
After cleaning and rising off his body he lowered himself into the tub. He could hear Lee and Neji talking with Kankuro on the floor below him. Wait. Lee and Neji. Kankuro. And. Oh shit.  
  
"Sexy no jutsu!" Natsume sat in the bath and waited. Naruto didn't like walking around like Natsume all the time and only during bath time and bedtime could he appreciate his original body. But now all he could do was wait for Sasuke and Gaara to come into the Kage's bathroom.  
  
-----------  
  
Sasuke and Gaara stood side by side, facing the door. They had walked to the bathroom, side by side and side by side walked through the doors out of the Academy, down the street. Never did one walk too slow or walk too fast. Just the right tempo for both of the trained ninja's: to the beat of the military march.  
  
Gaara and Sasuke stepped through the door at the same time, undressed in unison and folded their clothing into neat piles. Gaara withdrew his sand back onto the jug on his back. They exited the small change room in unison, both great minds on their destination ignoring all surroundings and obstacles.  
  
They stopped before the bath.  
  
It was until that they actually looked at the object within the bath, both realized a sight neither of they had expected.  
  
Natsume Aya in all her glory in the bath water, downright naked. Her hair cascading over her shoulders and bathing in the tub. The water clung to her body. She was a seductress in this state and innocent at the same time, straight out alluring.  
  
Gaara's eyes shot open in panic and shut tight.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Natsume! I forgot you had a key?" Gaara covered his eyes, he had seen Naruto naked when they were swimming in the ocean. But not Natsume, it was like a whole different person. He freaked out for a second. He ended up tripping on Natsume's bucket into her unmentionables.  
  
Sasuke covered his eyes as Gaara did. Also a very bad move. Sasuke stepped back into a soapy puddle causing him to loose his balance land, with a splash, face first in Natsume's lap. He froze in the position he fell into.  
  
"Sasuke." A lone drop of water echoed as it fell onto a tile. "Please get you head off of my lap."  
  
Sasuke pulled his head up just at the wrong angle, staring into Natsume's breasts.  
  
Sasuke gulped.  
  
"Sasuke. Stop looking at Natsume's breasts," Gaara was very pissed now.  
  
He had got up just in time to see Sasuke's face underwater, the other half of his body sticking out. He cracked his knuckles and neck, a flame in the illuminating his body. He didn't want to use the sand graveyard to take the pleasure of this fist pounding.  
  
"Kazekage! Hokage!" The footsteps of many ninjas echoed through the hall, "is it intruders? Are you all right?" Two Kage's in one village made them both targets to all that opposed them and the worry ate through the sand ninja's. Naruto could hear Jin's fingers skillfully picking the door like he had taught him to.  
  
"KAZE-" They paused, Natsume was sandwiched in-between a fighting Gaara and Sasuke, all three whom which were unconcealed. Sasuke was pressed against the wall. Natsume Aya, being pressed into punching Sasuke who an angry Gaara who wanted to get at.  
  
It looked bad and sexy at the same time. Like something out of a Porno Magazine. Natsume's body was slick with water added to the image, and so was the fighting. The grunts and squeals erupting from their throats, moans and groans heated the scene up.  
  
Almost at once the ninja's pooled in, wrapped only in towels and once reaching the show could only gape.  
  
Nobody made an effort to move, all clutching their towels in an embarrassing situation, worried that they would be the next to be nude.  
  
Finally Rikka spoke in awe. "I need a cold shower."  
  
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Sasuke was washing himself in the bathroom alone. He had not uttered a word since Gaara's attempt to murder him. Gaara had hastily dressed along side Natsume, both quickly and silently. Gaara threw the jug of sand on his back bitterly as he opened the door. They walked through the halls, ignoring the glances and whispers of the occupants.  
  
"Natsume, he touched you." Gaara looked at Natsume, she looked away not making eye contact. Gaara walked faster, Natsume trying to out walk him. He turned her around, grabbing her arm. "Naruto."  
  
Natsume swung around to cover his mouth, "Gaara." She gave him a warning glance and they looked at each other. Both of their faces flushed with embarrassment.  
  
Gaara's eyes softened. "You weren't responding, I thought you hated me."  
  
"Gaara, I love you." Natsume was in turn silenced by Gaara's hand.  
  
Gaara spoke in a calm voice, hiding his hurt feelings. "You love Sasuke, too."  
  
Natsume's bin clattered to the ground.  
  
Natsume batting her fists at Gaara hitting him repeatedly in the head. "Gaara!" Natsume punched him straight in the jaw, "if I loved Sasuke that much I'd be with him." She made an uppercut into his stomach, he had high pain tolerance so it didn't really matter that Natsume was thrashing him around outside the bathhouse. She was attempting to drive in the point that she loved him by punching and screaming it at him in the open street outside the bathhouse.  
  
"Natsume." He smiled, he knew why he loved Naruto again.  
  
Gaara embraced Natsume, he slowly moving in to ravish her in the streets in the eyes of the public that were watching closely.  
  
"Natsume-sensei!" His eyes were once again blinded with two female hands.  
  
"Yuri." Natsume replied almost suddenly.  
  
Yuri bounced up and down, kicking her legs frantically causing a dust storm. "It's not fair, you always get me!" She paused to look at Natsume, then Gaara, then Natsume.  
  
Gaara, Natsume, Gaara, Natsume, Gaara, Natsume.  
  
Gaara blushed. He knew what the girl was implying. "We weren't doing anything," Natsume gave him the look of 'yes, we were.' He gave up. He couldn't win.  
  
Natsume looked at the girl's new outfit. The girl was now dressed as a fairy, her hair done up to look like a dream come true. "Natsume-sensei!"  
  
"Yes!" Natsume awaited her student's question.  
  
Yuri grinned and asked the brain stumping question, "are you still coming to my wedding party?"  
  
Natsume felt like the ground had been yanked from her feet. "Your wedding party?!" Gaara watched the two, observing his surroundings.  
  
Yuri threw her arms into the air. "The whole village is coming. You forgot!" She began to shake Natsume, hoping her thought process would be knocked back in place. "Natsu~me-sensei? Natsu~~me-sensei?"  
  
"I-I'm--" Natsume blinked. Her brain not registering. "Coming to your what?"  
  
"The party of my wedding." The little girl was getting annoyed and began to pout at her amnesiac sensei.  
  
Gaara's eyes widened, he remembered what Kankuro and Temari had said. "The booked hotels were."  
  
"Because of my wedding!" Yuri cheered gleefully.  
  
Natsume placed her hand on her student's head and smiled. Her eye was twitching. "Aren't you a little young?"  
  
Yuri grabbed the hand on her forehead and moved it so she could look into her sensei's eyes. "It's not for love, it's for business!" Yuri was twelve. He must have been worried about the ability of her to manage his business. Business first. She remembered meeting Mr. Noata. He was fat.  
  
Natsume looked up at the sky as it changed color. "Oh boy. Gaara, I told you to raise the legal marriage age to 19 years of age." Natsume was very influential in the Sand Village and almost everyone knew her face. She aided in many rebuilding projects, helping with blood, sweat and her own two hands. There were times that Gaara was going to give up and Natsume pushed forward to positive results. It was always said, behind a great man, there was a woman. And that woman was Natsume Aya.  
  
Gaara wiped some water off his hair blood colored hair, his dark pupils registering with Natsume's blue. "It's not legal until two months from now."  
  
She nudged her teacher some more. "Temari is going and Kankuro is going," Yuri added clapping.  
  
Gaara sighed.  
  
It all added up, no rooms due to the wedding, Kankuro and Temari not offering their homes due to abundant partying tonight. 'No wonder they would not offering their houses,' Gaara imagined both Temari and Kankuro having the time of their lives, while he was signing papers with Sasuke, cooped up in his home. Every man in the village would hit on his Natsume in his absence. He fumed.  
  
"It'll be like a festival! You could go with Gaara!" Yuri tried to think up more reasons and it was showing, "you could probably get your guests to join you. C'mon! Natsume-sensei! For me!!! I have no mommy! Natsume!" Yuri looked ready to let out the water works.  
  
She was way too immature to get married. The legal marriage age needed to be upped, but knowing Yuri's father.  
  
Yuri was counting on her. Naruto sighed, the pros and cons of raising young kids. You have to watch them leave the nest.  
  
Natsume blushed, thinking internally. 'I could go with Gaara!' She imagined Gaara and herself walking hand in hand down the isle. Gaara ravishing her before she could get her. Then ravishing Naruto. Yes.  
  
Both forms needed equal ravishing.  
  
Gaara cackling inwardly, 'maybe I could lure Natsume away somewhere and." Several "X's" in uneven rows danced through his head.  
  
'I could go with Natsume,' a dripping Sasuke thought from his peeping behind the washroom window. Before he slipped and fell into the bathtub again.  
  
The sun was setting and the entertainment was setting up.  
  
Soon as the sky filled with stars the festivities of the night would begin.  
  
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Authors note:  
  
From here on it's going to get spicy-saucy! We'll get to see all the pairings for A Sexy Jutsu. And hopefully Kakashi's sexy no jutsu!  
  
Lot's of love, I promise you.  
  
I am satisfied with this chapter! Long live fan services! Joking!  
  
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Review Reply Section: (Because you guys deserve your own section)  
  
evanescenceix Thank you for your support, I read your reviews on two pages with leery tired eyes.  
  
a guy from the fbi. You flatter me greatly.  
  
M-I, it's coming sooner than you think.  
  
Shadow of Arashi, yes stay and watch the Kakashi work his love magic on Iruka in the next chapter. I think. The plotingness!  
  
Vampire Goddess Jekyll, you now know the beauty of Gaara x Sasuke x Naruto! I'm thinking of slashing Naruto with Orochimaru in a spicy way!  
  
Nora D, I know how you feel. I write A Sexy Jutsu in my spare time. My eyes hurt. I'm glad you're tormented, I'm a sadist. LOL  
  
Keitsu Han'ei, CONVERT! [Swings bible of Naruto AKA Naruto Guides] Joking.  
  
Annachan! IGNOBLE! What dost that mean? Yes. I'm crazy.  
  
WuffieLuver. [Hands her a tissue] Let us cry together. Rawr.  
  
Silver. Aww. Come on! Look at me. I'm a lazy scumby! Have pity!  
  
Nemi, he said something about Ino and his son, Daisuke and Sasuke wasn't very happy about it. It offended Sasuke that Gaara use it as a tool. He clearly still loves them both, despite what happened to Ino. You, Nora D and Shadow of Arashi keep inspiring me. Kakashi is going to appear in. Something you'd like a lot. Heh heh heh. Review and. Always with good observation Nemi. Watching my fic. Watching it live.  
  
Dan Inverse. 0_________0 {???  
  
Cheryl-chan. May I join you in that bed? [Collapses]  
  
Yes, Sushi! Yes, Pantantlatic! Yes, Sera! YES SIR! I'll have it on your desk two weeks in overdue! J/K  
  
SW. Everyone loves the KakaIru!  
  
Michirukoshi. Thanks. I feel relieved. Stroke the author's ego. Stroke it.  
  
Kyaate! Quick! Into bed with me and Cheryl-chan! I'll "protect" you.  
  
Okami Riyu, good point! But there are ways. And I, the sensually skillful author will explore it! Fanfic Fanatics! Hurrar!  
  
Smacktoon, thanks for your cute reviews. I found them "thinking." Nice to know a straight yaoi fan. Wait. I'm straight! Natsume is also the producers of my favorite game: Harvest Moon. It's about farming. I'm trying to make this a humorous, romantic story with lots of relationships and small individual stories. Just like in Naruto! So despite the homosexuality there's a lot of things that will make you want to read later on. So stick around.  
  
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Preview:  
  
Solve:  
  
2 [Sasuke x Naruto - Gaara x Naruto] - G x G - Kakashi x Iruka = Neji  
  
Former Kazekage/LN - [Temari + will not be appearing for several chapters] + Lee/Sakura = Kankuro  
  
Answer  
  
Naruto = sex/?  
  
[The love is coming. Any last words?] 


	6. STARS divided by X HEARTS please solve

A Sexy Jutsu By Mukumuku  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Naruto not mine. Naruto. Kishimoto-sensei. Sleepy.  
  
-------------  
  
Natsume found herself lost in the crowds. When Yuri said festival, she really meant festival. Natsume closed her eyes. It hurt to realize that this was just an attempt to show off Naota's new wealth. Yuri was nowhere to be seen. Natsume had hoped to wish her well but now she wasn't at the festival.  
  
There were many mini-games where you could win prizes and musicians and food, it was like a festival. There were vendors selling jewelry, food and an assortment of things. Natsume was suddenly awakened by the smell of ramen. She turned her head to see there was no ramen in sight, but she saw something or someone. No. This person was too troublesome to be a person. He had to be a dagger in the back or a rock at the bottom of one's sandal. One had to be wary of his wit.  
  
It was Gaara's father, also a Kazekage.  
  
"Natsume, are you pregnant yet?" Were the first words out of his mouth as usual, he looked at his probable daughter-in-law with interest. Natsume bit her tongue, 'don't kill him, Naruto.' She smiled sweetly, something he usually did not do for the Kazekage.  
  
"They're selling flowers," behind him was a stand in which flowers were indeed being sold. "My wife liked flowers," his face turned into a frown. He sighed, "but you're more of a ninja and a vicious one aren't you." Natsume looked at the flowers, they were nice but they would die easily. She loomed over the bouquets. The Kazekage picked up a white flower that Natsume had never seen before. The Kazekage slipped it in Natsume's hair, behind her ear. "It suits you." Naruto caught her reflection in a pot.  
  
He was a very beautiful woman, wearing a flattering baby blue dress. Blonde hair pooling down her back, blue eyes, lips touched with pink.  
  
"Is this beautiful person. me?"  
  
"Natsume!" Hinata huffed from all her running. She held a camera in her hand. "I have to talk to--" Her eye caught the Kazekage's and she bowed, "Kazekage!" Gaara's father looked proud, like he had scored with a girl. Naruto closed his eyes. Like he even wanted to think about it.  
  
"Hinata Hyuga, I've met your father. So this is little Hinata?" Kazekage and Hinata began to fall into a deep conversation as Naruto slipped away, thinking of what he saw in herself.  
  
"So Hinata." He took a look at the Camera in Hinata's hand, "you like to take pictures. I'm a bit of an expert."  
  
"Really?" Hinata shyly took the crook of the Kazekage's arm and Kazekage began to talk of the beautiful Sand Village's starry night in dire need of photography.  
  
-----------  
  
Gaara was racing through the empty parts of the village. He had been called on last minute duties and hurried on his way to meet Naruto. He had sent ahead for a bottle of wine and tonight he was going to do it.  
  
He was ready. He had a ring for a long time but he never had the nerve to ask him.  
  
He was going to tell Naruto that he loved him and ask Naruto to marry him.  
  
"No. He insisted. Natsume." Gaara breathed in. He wasn't ready, he felt like freaking out. He began to run down to where he deemed was the quickest route to when he was stopped by construction. "Damn, prospering village."  
  
He had to take a detour small detour, but that was okay.  
  
A shadowy figure on the rooftop watched him race by and yawned, "interesting."  
  
----------  
  
Sasuke was searching for Natsume from under his disguise. There was no other way to fight his pursuers off and get to Natsume before Gaara.  
  
No one would ever suspect it was Sasuke for sure.  
  
"That's a pretty ugly disguise," Sasuke stopped in his tracks.  
  
His eyes widened, Sasuke was dressed as a very ugly old woman.  
  
He turned around to face Morimoto, the academy instructor.  
  
"What's he doing here," he went to approach him when he noticed that it was not him he was talking to, but to another man: Teguchi. He recognized them both.  
  
They both were there when he attempted to kill Gaara.  
  
Morimoto was a huge man, twice the height and girth of Teguchi. The pathetic Teguchi was dressed as a hooker, and poorly at that. You could tell he was a man, but it sure looked like he was in denial with his makeup smudged glasses and violent violet eyeliner. "You don't know me, how can you judge me."  
  
Morimoto chuckled at Teguchi's poorly applied lipstick, "I agree!"  
  
Teguchi parted his legs and pointed his frilly pink fan at his friend. "Morimoto! Aren't you supposed to be with Rikka?"  
  
Sasuke nodded, he remembered Rikka and her imported octopus clearly.  
  
"I'd rather be with you," Morimoto's face was etched with the seriousness of a warrior.  
  
Teguchi was angry. "How do you know if I want to be with you?"  
  
"I don't." Morimoto offered an intimate thought to Teguchi, "Do you?"  
  
"Maybe. What do you think?!" Teguchi snapped back annoyed; his friend had a hurt expression on his face.  
  
Morimoto sighed. Teguchi was a beautiful puzzle to him. "If only I knew, Teguchi." Morimoto shook his head, "I wish I did."  
  
Teguchi took a step back and looked at the sky. "You should be with Rikka." He stopped mid sentence. "Where is Rikka?" Morimoto shrugged in return.  
  
Teguchi started to get bored.  
  
Morimoto spoke in a serious voice. "I don't care about Rikka. Rikka is a great girl. I just don't want to waste my life with Rikka."  
  
The shorter man looked for an excuse, "but. It'll be better if you do."  
  
"I don't think so or is it just better for me to go away! How would you know?" Morimoto ran his hand through his hair, the sweat trickling down his face.  
  
"Don't you care about what other people think of you?" Morimoto looked at Teguchi for a long while.  
  
"I don't care about them!" Morimoto flung his arms into the air in a rage. "They all have stupid. Backwards." He was not good at this, searching for what he wanted to say. But still Teguchi was hanging onto his every word. He couldn't mess up. Or else he'd lose him. "--Narrow minded thoughts if they think that I shouldn't..." He touched his heart, grasping for the right sentence. "If they judged us for what we are but not who we are then I don't give a shit about them!"  
  
Morimoto's face was red. It wasn't something easily said, like waiting underwater for a chance to step onto an iceberg to cross over to land. I would take a long time, a lot of self-suffering and work to get the word to Teguchi, the object of his emotions.  
  
His someone that he had been separated from for a long time.  
  
Morimoto looked a Teguchi, who in turned embraced Morimoto. Both of them were just discovering the truth behind the norm and what they had always wanted.  
  
Each other.  
  
"I only want to be with you!" His words echoed, he couldn't say it any easier. He thought of his masculine reputation, 'it came out all sappy, like those romance novels Rikka reads. I feel so ashamed.'  
  
Teguchi looked up at Morimoto's face. "Really?"  
  
Morimoto nodded.  
  
Sasuke wished at that moment he were not the great Hokage, that he was the honest Morimoto. He watched as Teguchi and Morimoto disappeared into the distance. Ready to enjoy the rest of the night together.  
  
It was a small step, but they would share a road together of many miles of hardship, but in the end they would be happy.  
  
"I'm glad those two ended up together," Sasuke jumped. Rikka was standing beside him, amused. "Really. All for me, they should have been more greedy." She tugged the Sasuke's arm to the festivities. "Grandma, you shouldn't be walking outside alone like this."  
  
Sasuke looked at the red haired woman. He shook his head, "that's all right. An old fool like myself should be wandering home. Thank you for your kindness," he said in an aged, shaky voice.  
  
Rikka placed a hand at her side and cocked her head. "Really? You want me to walk you home?"  
  
He hesitated and said finally, "no." He raised his hands up in objection, "no. I'd. Rather walk alone."  
  
She gave the old woman an odd look, before deciding to walk away. "Good night, grandma."  
  
Sasuke smiled, why was he always treated with such kindness. It sickened him. Back then he would.  
  
"I'll make the best of one."  
  
He pulled off his disguise and searched for a place to intake some alcohol.  
  
---------  
  
Neji and Kankuro were drinking heavily. How she got to be cornered by the two was beyond her thinking right now. Kankuro was grabbing Neji to help him stand. He raised his glass in the air, "a toast! To Naota! You rich, rich bastard!"  
  
A man from the back cheered as well, "I wish I were rich like that bastard Naota! Right Naota!"  
  
"I wish I were as." Naota mumbled incoherently, he mentioned something off topic like the import of octopus and shouted, "like Kankuro!" He clinked his glass against Kankuro's and everyone shouted in agreement.  
  
"Yeah! Kankuro!" Neji shouted, loosing him balance and knocking Kankuro over.  
  
"Kankuro!" The men began to shout all riled up. "Yeah! Get some of that pretty girl Neji."  
  
"Neji's not a girl. He's a sexy woman!" Everyone cheered and drank to Neji's "apparent" womanliness.  
  
Many men were offering her a drink, but Natsume told them that she was Gaara's and they immediately shut up. The village's brewer came around with a more beverages and stopped at Natsume's table.  
  
"Gaara's is not here and nor was he at home, so if you have the time." He held a bottle of the village's most finest, expensive wine in his grasps. Had Gaara arranged for something special as well? The brewer called Natsume's attention back, "please bring this to him, he wanted to share it with you tonight but it doesn't look like he is coming."  
  
Naruto stood up accepted the bottle with both hands. Tonight.  
  
'Tonight. I wanted to be surrounded by Gaara. I wanted Gaara.'  
  
Natsume headed for her house, unhappy that she was alone.  
  
"Let's play a game," suggested a man lying on the ground.  
  
"SPIN THE BOTTLE!" Kankuro raised the bottle like a torch.  
  
A barmaid yanked the glass out of the man's hand. "No spin the bottle for you men. I just don't want to see two old grandpas kissing." She smiled at the men who had lost their source of fun, "why don't you all go play a safer game."  
  
"TRUTH OR DARE!"  
  
"Yeah!" And everyone knew that no barmaid could ever take truth or dare away.  
  
---------  
  
Sasuke picked up his bottle, looking into it not noticing Natsume pass him by. He sat in the corner of the bar nearest the street, opening a bottle of beer.  
  
"One drink will ease my suffering."  
  
---------  
  
"Building.  
  
In.  
  
Construction??? Damn it all?!"  
  
Gaara was loosing his patience. He kicked the sign.  
  
Then he picked it back up and looked for another short cut.  
  
The shadow chased after him, cackling to itself.  
  
--------------  
  
"Wow, Kazekage! This view is amazing!" Hinata looked down from her height at all the lit homes. People dancing, drinking, meeting. "This is a great view, I feel so big." She giggled, then she remembered. She lost Natsume Aya . Or more the known name, Naruto.  
  
"What's wrong, baby?" Hinata jumped.  
  
The Kazekage laughed.  
  
It was a lively sound from his throat, a change from the serious face his shared with his children.  
  
"What's so funny?" She shook the Kazekage, tears rolling down his face from his hard laughter.  
  
He leaned over holding his stomach. It ached from all his laughter, "your face! It was so cute! You were utterly horrified." He composed himself, returning to his old scowl, "what's the matter? Can't handle a man as old as your daddy? I'll drop all the bad slang." He wiped away his tears.  
  
Hinata blushed, 'the Kazekage is making fun of me' She stomped and shouted, she wasn't really good at expressing her feelings out right and stuttered at first. "It's. It's not funny! You scared me?!"  
  
"What's wrong?" The happy, fun atmosphere had suddenly changed. It had suddenly become very hot and thick with.  
  
The Kazekage glomped the female Jounen much to her surprise. "Can't handle the fact you're being seduced by a Kazekage?"  
  
"You're as old as my dad!" Hinata shouted at the Kazekage angrily, flailing her arms but the closest escape route was to plummet to her death.  
  
He raised a brow, a feature his son Gaara lacked. "And?"  
  
"It's wrong!" The Kazekage's glomp grew tighter.  
  
He chuckled, "you're forgetting."  
  
"What?" Hinata asked warily. Her father should have warned her of this man.  
  
She gulped.  
  
He kissed her cheek affectionately. "I have no morals." Hinata's world fell from the sky and crushed her head. Her brain swirled and cuckoo birds danced the mambo around her head. "Do you know what this place is?" He asked, his hand positioned as if he had a small gift in his palm.  
  
Hinata looked around.  
  
She saw nothing, but heard giggling.  
  
"N-no." She shook her head.  
  
"It's a place where young couples make out," the Kazekage brought Hinata to a bench to sit down, arm around her shoulders and waved the steam from her ears. 'This is too easy."  
  
---------  
  
Natsume leaned against the door of her house.  
  
She put the wine bottle on the porch and reached into her pocket. She began to open the door when he heard a crack of his whip from the guestroom in his house.  
  
"That's strange? Who's home?" Natsume used his Jounen skills to scale the wall and look through the window.  
  
Kakashi. Decked out in the domanatrix wear that the previous owner had left in her house, except there were two different things..  
  
Kakashi was a woman, a large breasted woman. And was wearing pink lingerie. On his face he wore a weird domanatix thing Naruto had hid, but apparently now it was found. It had small slits for eyes and a zipper over the mouth. Kakashi had edited it slightly so his short, white, messy hair was now longer and could pool down from the top to his shoulders.  
  
Kakashi raised his whip over his head.  
  
Iruka was gagged. Arms and legs tied to the bedposts of a blood red, Victorian bed.  
  
Not that he was struggling or anything.  
  
Natsume fell from her position on the wall.  
  
"What that?" Iruka said, finally freed from the gag on his mouth.  
  
"What was that, you said?" Kakashi's eye glinted evilly.  
  
Iruka trembled from his place on the bed.  
  
Kakashi crawled onto the bed like a predator, cape trailing behind him, "what did I say to say when you speak?" Kakashi began to gleefully strip his lover down, ripping his clothes to shreds.  
  
"I'm sorry! Mistress Kakash----"  
  
Natsume didn't know if it was a howl of pleasure or pain, but it came from Iruka.  
  
He knew he should have changed the theme rooms. No one would ever suspect the Victorian theme room or the little girl room to be sexual at all. He walked away thankful they never saw the hospital theme room in the basement.  
  
He really didn't want to sleep in his house tonight, "I guess I'll give Gaara his wine now."  
  
---------  
  
Sasuke was drinking heavily. He couldn't find Natsume on the street and by his second drink he had given up. Unfortunately his second drink got him drunk.  
  
"Sasuke!" Sakura forced the drunken Hokage to stand up, "what are you doing? Drinking like that?" Lee and Sakura were having one of the best dates up till now. Sakura called Lee to assist her in carrying Sasuke out of the party central. The festivities were heating up and everyone began to dance in the streets.  
  
"Where are we going to take him?" Rock Lee asked, pulling Sasuke to a standing position.  
  
Sakura shook her head. "Gaara's house, he's not here so I'd hope he's at home. We'll call Temari, she at the kareoke section. I'll ask her to take us there."  
  
Another thing ruined by Sasuke, his eternal rival in love.  
  
Lee frowned. He himself hadn't changed much. If anything he had gotten taller and his looks had not improved at all. Sasuke on the other hand had grown more handsome, yet remained beautiful though stress and toil showed on his unhappy face. Sasuke had grown taller as well, his hair slightly longer. It made him feel bad holding such a beauty. To be compared to Sasuke as they walked down the street. Women questioning if Sasuke was dating HIS fiancée. "Sakura. I."  
  
"What is it Lee." Sakura cocked her head, she was as beautiful as the day he met her. It stopped his heart and he babbled to get it going. Sakura giggled, balancing Sasuke into a good position, and gave Lee a peck on the cheek.  
  
"Why did you fall for me?" Lee finally asked, "when you could have had Sasuke here?"  
  
Sakura put on a scowl. "Look at him now? Sasuke's a great man but he has his heart set on another person." She tried to inch closer to Lee, despite the intervening Sasuke. "Besides. He's more like a little brother."  
  
Lee's eyebrows rose, "what am I like?"  
  
Sakura pushed forward, Sasuke's rank making it easier for her to scout the area. "Hmmm. I can't really put the right words together." Sakura breathed in a sexy voice, "sex slave."  
  
That made Lee drop the drunken Sasuke on the ground with a plop, a strangled cream crawling from his throat.  
  
Temari bounced on the stage, "Sakura! Sakura's fiancee! Why is the Hokage looking dead on the ground!"  
  
Sasuke flopped like a dead fish unable to stand. "I'm going to kill you tomorrow, Lee," Sasuke grumbled.  
  
Lee gasped and inched away from Sasuke's prone body invoking laughs from Sakura and Temari.  
  
Sakura moved towards Sasuke to pick him up but was stopped by Temari's voice. "Hey! Stop in your tracks, Sakura. We'll get Kankuro and Neji to put Sasuke away. We gotta have fun tonight. Besides. Neji and Kankuro are so drunk they'll do anything." Temari leapt offstage and searched herself for two keys.  
  
"Oh. That's good." Sakura took the key for Gaara and Naruto's house and turned to her helpers. "EEEK! Neji! Kankuro!" The two were dancing together, arms flailing and hitting other dancers. The other drunken men had joined them after seeing the two and soon there was a crowd of drunk, dancing men.  
  
Hinata began to take pictures of the dancing fools as Temari gawked at the angles her father demanded.  
  
But there was one this for sure. They were going to make some pretty good pictures.  
  
---------  
  
Gaara glared into the sign.  
  
Detour. Detour.  
  
Tons of detours, his eyes pulsated.  
  
He was going to kill something. A small cat would be a gift. A small crook, a blessing.  
  
He turned his head to some thrashing behind a fence. He sure hoped it was a crook as he boosted himself up enough height to see over the fence.  
  
Two genin fighting. Two pathetic genin in a pathetic fistfight. He shook his head. He might as well have gone home.  
  
"Say you love me," the boy raised his fist as a threat and shouted in a French accented voice. "Say it!"  
  
The other boy looked up and wiped the blood from his mouth, "I'll never say it in public." His eyes narrowed in hatred, "because I'm too proud. But you knew that. Didn't you?"  
  
Gaara blinked. Did he hear right?  
  
The French boy turned around and began to walk away, "fine then, Jin Kazuma. I'm leaving. Go masturbate by yourself." Sand flew from his heels and settled. The black haired boy had tackled the boy down, pinning him to the dirt and sand road.  
  
Gaara waited to watch what would happen next, Jin leaned over his unspoken love and kissed him on the lips. "Go to hell," the boy head butted him off, blood splaying and dripping from the impact. "You should have had a better grip, Mon ami."  
  
Jin licked the blood that dripped down his face; he squatted on the ground. He watched with wolf like intent as his probable boyfriend dusted himself off. The blonde boy folded his arms, "who do you think I am? Some whore?" The boy stomped again, sending sand flying around his foot. "Where's the romance, Jin? Where's the part that you say, I love you? You never." Jin used his lightning fast reflexes to envelope the boy in his arms.  
  
"Why do you always make me say it, Jacques?" Jin looked at Jacques. He closed his eyes and sighed, brushing a bang out of Jacques face. He looked into Jacques' blue eyes that he loved dearly, "Even if I have to say it a million times, I love you, Jacques Delacroix."  
  
They shared a small kiss. A kiss more of love than passion, the two must have shared a lot because it showed that it was not good looks alone that had drawn both together. When they separated, Jacques blushed, "where's the passion? I thought you were a great lover?"  
  
"You fool," Jin shouted. "There's already too much passion spewing from your mouth." Jin's voice changed into a serious tone. "Why do you keep worrying that I've stopped loving you?"  
  
Jacques shook his head, "Mon ami. It's just that our love is so out of the ordinary. I want to know that you love me?" Curls bobbed up and down as he shook his head, "I want to know if you're--"  
  
Jin grabbed Jacques lips with his fingers. "From now on you will call me by my nick name."  
  
Jacques eyes sparkled, "r-r-really????" He breathed in and out rapidly with pure excitement.  
  
Jin raised his index finger. "From now on you will call me. Ginseng."  
  
"Ginseng!" Jacques exclaimed, tears rolling down his face, "that's not romantic at all!!!"  
  
"Jacques. Too much passion."  
  
"Sorry," Jacques bowed his head.  
  
Jin dragged his boyfriend to the outskirts of town, "let's go. I know a place where we can see the sun rise."  
  
"Sunrise." Jacques began to cry in joy, "sunrise?" He skipped.  
  
Jin had a broad smile, "see. I'm romantic!" He pointed into the wide sky, "look at that star. Kinda looks like Rikka's mole."  
  
The two voices began to fade out into the night.  
  
"Gaara. Are you peeping?" Gaara fell from his position.  
  
"Ahh." He paused.  
  
An angel. God. Had a plan all along..  
  
He looked up at the face of Natsume Aya as he lay on his back.  
  
"Na-Naruto."  
  
Natsume smiled back, holding out her hand. "Kazekage Gaara."  
  
------------  
  
Authors Note:  
  
Mukumuku: And so Natsume and Gaara enjoyed the festivities.  
  
Gaara: Actually we got drunk and went home.  
  
Naruto: In the streets, too.  
  
Mukumuku: [Reads script.] And they all had sex in the end of the chapter.  
  
Gaara: Wait! This story isn't done yet!  
  
Naruto: I'm tired.  
  
Gaara: Let's go home, Naruto.  
  
[And so they went home.] .  
  
.  
  
..  
  
..  
  
..  
  
[To have sex]  
  
Wait! There's more!  
  
IT'S NOT OVER!  
  
I'm writing more! More passion!  
  
I wrote this in two days!  
  
[Falls asleep standing]  
  
------------  
  
Reviewers Section [Of love]  
  
Athravan, next chapter.  
  
Zam Angelina, YOUR WISH HAS COME TRUE! LOL.  
  
Tsukasa. Sorry for the shorter KakaIru section-part. I had so~ much to write. I thought, short but sweet. Thank you, you can see my spelling mistakes.  
  
Shadow of Arashi, make with the links! C'mon. [More s~inspiration for the sinner?]  
  
Vampire Goddess Jekyll, their relationship will be a road full of bashing and boinking.  
  
WuffieLuver, I have one big one today!  
  
the_true_silver, shhh. [Pat, pat] Just nod.  
  
Lady Dragon. Next Chapter.  
  
Nemi! You have found the spoilers! Shhh. Shh.. Next Chapter.  
  
Nora D. Why eat one. When you can have two?  
  
Michirukoshi, My ideas. It's all in the nerve gas. J/K. A wild, sex depraved life full of flailing limbs. Good author? You sweet talker, tee hee!  
  
kytyngurl2! I'm a genie! [Shaking involuntarily] Rub me.  
  
EvanescenceIX! Thank you very much! [Bows]  
  
(Dan Inverse writes in a hurry, leaves in a hurry. He's a mythological creature.)  
  
M-I, I failed math three times. In a row. 45, 34, 23. Those are my marks. I can't add. =____=; But I'm still happy! Happy!  
  
Atomstar! I'm okay. I'm going to do a big ass spell check when it finishes. I have two to beta. But they're. Somewhere. [Shakes fist] They were gathering to discuss the next Chunnin test and where it was being held. [PS. First chapter, near the end]  
  
Archangel153! READ ON!  
  
Panatlantic. Uh. SAME AS ABOVE!  
  
Athravan, he-hey. CONFRONTATION.. Uh. [Smiles] Next chapter.  
  
no one you know. Naruto has mastered this jutsu by now (he created it. However.. NEXT CHAPTER!) So it's okay. Plus he's a better ninja now.  
  
Sushi, I never thought of that trend. Heh heh. Well. It worked out. Tomorrow, they'll fight more prolly.  
  
--------------  
  
Preview:  
  
[Currently in forum: Sandman, Pretty_Flower, Sexy-Hokage]  
  
[9 Tails Fox has just logged in]  
  
9 Tails Fox says: HAR HAR! I [happy dancing munchkin babies] your life, Pretty_Flower!  
  
Sexy-Hokage: You're on your third warning, 9TF. Next spam raid and you're so banned.  
  
9 Tails Fox: HAR HAR! You can't abuse your power. I know you want to [happy dancing munchkin babies], Pretty_Flower! HAR HAR!  
  
Sandman: Corrupt mods!!! Sux this! (_)(_) ~  
  
9 Tails Fox: HAR HAR! You're funny, Sandman!  
  
Sandman: (___)(___) = Sexy-Hokage's Big ass  
  
[Card Captor Sakura 2002 just joined]  
  
9 Tails Fox: Ew. It's Sakura! SPAM! (_0) { HAR HAR!  
  
[9 Tails Fox Account] [Delete]  
  
[OK][NO]  
  
[OK]  
  
[Review for moi, mon ami?] 


	7. Extra: GxNxS

A Sexy Jutsu Alternative Chapter?  
  
--------------  
  
This has nothing to do with the plotline guys. Act like you  
  
HAVE NEVER READ THIS!  
  
--------------  
  
GAG? Naruto Chapter  
  
Pairing: Gaara x Naruto x Sasuke  
  
Previously created to give the readers something to read.  
  
While I took a break for a week so the chapters could be edited.  
  
I needed a break.  
  
Also created out of the blue.  
  
It's for my entertainment really.  
Natsume and Gaara barely even got to the door, the bottle was near finished and Gaara was feeling riled up and tipsy.  
  
"Naruto. Let's go to the bedroom. I have something I wanna show you." Gaara whispered in a low voice, "it's in my pants."  
  
Indeed. That was where he had hidden his ring, tucked away into his pant pocket. Gaara nodded at himself, not noticing Natsume's shocked expression. She had some alcohol but not as much as Gaara, one of them had to be sober.  
  
Gaara knocked Natsume off her feet, carrying her up the stair. "Ga-Gaar.a?"  
  
Gaara bit Natsume's ear playfully, "Na-ru-to."  
  
------------  
  
Sasuke awoke to the sound of rattling outside of the room he was in. 'Where am I?'  
  
The sound in the hall approached rapidly. 'How did I get here? Whose house am I in?"  
  
He could hear the voices in the hall getting louder.  
  
"I'm going to make you." Gaara trailed off, "feel good." He thought some more, "Naruto."  
  
"Naruto?" Sasuke's eyes widened, Gaara. Naruto. Together?!!!  
  
Gaara carried Natsume through the door, kicking the door open to reveal the bedroom.  
  
And Sasuke.  
  
Sasuke's eyes were wide. His alcohol had worn off and now he was fully aware of the truth. However Gaara was still under the influence, he looked at his bed for a long time. "Why is Sasuke in my bed?  
  
"Sasuke!!" Natsume jumped from Gaara's arms to Sasuke. He felt incredibly bad and guilty.  
  
"Fuck it." Gaara took another swig off the bottle. He was still going to do it, but he was going to let Naruto and Sasuke talk it out first.  
  
Sasuke pushed Natsume away, "I'm sorry. Naruto for what happened in leaf village," he began to sob silently. "If I could change what happened I would. But."  
  
"Sasuke." Natsume. 'No. I can't lie anymore.' Naruto wanted to stop Sasuke from crying.  
  
'I still love Sasuke.' Naruto fell to his knees, joining Sasuke with tears, 'and I love Gaara too.'  
  
Sasuke stood up, tears gone, replaced by the old Sasuke who was without tears. He had gathered his strength and walked past Naruto. Naruto turned around.  
  
Sasuke placed his hand on Gaara's shoulder, facing the open door, unable to look Gaara. Gaara, still under the influence and unable to understand the gesture. "Gaara. You're very, very lucky to have Naruto. I've been looking for a second chance but now. I realize that I lost Naruto by not having faith in myself."  
  
Sasuke smiled for Naruto, a smile he didn't share. His back still on his lover, "Naruto. Please be happy."  
  
Gaara began to regain some sense.  
  
Sasuke was unhappy, because he loved Naruto and couldn't be with him.  
  
Naruto was unhappy because he loved Sasuke and couldn't be with him.  
  
Gaara thought deeply.  
  
He attempted to stop Sasuke, managing to tackle him, knocking him in the table in the hall. "I love Naruto and we all know that you love Naruto. And I'm just tired. And I know you're drunk and you don't care. But my beds. pretty big. It's a big bed." Gaara began to babble, Sasuke's face was turning red.  
  
Not only was Sasuke without Naruto, but he had just been humiliated and robbed of dignity while trying to make his grand and final exit. He struggled to be free.  
  
Naruto went into time freeze. 'Is he saying what I think he's saying,' Naruto looked at Sasuke and Gaara.  
  
Naruto's eyes widened. He had broken Gaara down but to this degree. But Gaara was making a humorous, straightforward speech on what he thought was sex with multiple partners at the same time!  
  
Naruto blanked. 'Wait. Did Gaara just say he loved me? Gaara. Never said he ever loved me before.'  
  
"Gaara?"  
  
Maybe it was the alcohol talking but Sasuke was beginning to look very, very hot. And that's not because Gaara lived in the desert, because the desert was cold at night, Sasuke looked attractive when his mouth was shut and wasn't stealing his woman. Man. A woman-man who was pretending to be a woman, but was really was a man.  
  
Wait. Gaara's smiled, 'alcohol. I lost all inhibitions because of you.'  
  
Especially the way he was sitting there looking pretty glaring at Gaara like he had grown another head, 'this is "I love death".' Sasuke thought, he pushed Gaara off who at the same time headed for his bottle causing Sasuke to roll forward. Sasuke's face scrunched. "Impossible.'  
  
"So if you want to hop into bed with us, I'm willing to share Naruto for tonight and fight over him tomorrow. Tomorrow we'll have plenty of time. We'll have all day but today. Both me and you going at it--" Gaara's slippery tongue was really, really sliding at this point, "in a fight!" He corrected himself.  
  
Gaara wasn't really that drunk. It slowly faded away. Now he felt more comfortable and his mind at ease  
  
"It's cruel to be separated from someone you love for long periods of time," Gaara said in a spurt of wisdom. "It's cruel to love and not be loved and I would know that," he looked at Naruto, lovingly. "I want to make love to Naruto tonight and if I don't, somebody else will." He banged the wine bottle on the table for emphasis.  
  
Sasuke blinked. "Naruto. Is it all right with you."  
  
"Yes." he pulled Gaara to the bed, landing on him. Straddling his lover, he pinched Gaara's cheek. "And if Gaara denies being so open and complaining about you joining us tonight, I'll rub it in his face tomorrow morning."  
  
"What do you want us to call you tonight?" Gaara looked up at his lover, caressing her cheek.  
  
"Please." Sasuke sat on the edge of the bed, watching Natsume's hair cascade. He grabbed some watching it fall between his fingers. "Call me Naruto."  
  
Naruto released his jutsu as he fell forward into Gaara's arms. 


	8. A Chat with the Devil

THIS IS CUT OFF ANND CONTINUES FROM THE FIRST AUTHORS NOTE!  
  
IT WAS THE END OF THAT CHAPTER!  
  
THANK YOU!  
  
==============  
  
A Sexy Jutsu By Mukumuku  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Naruto isn't mine to pimp out. He is Kishimoto-sensei's. If you want a "round," it's ten dollars and hour.  
  
==============  
  
Natsume's hair was cascading over her shoulders. She leaned over to poke Gaara on the nose. "What are you doing here? I've been looking all over for you," Natsume had a tinge of sadness in her voice. The bottle of wine he ordered, his surprise, was spoiled and the night was wasted.  
  
Gaara felt himself sweating even though it was a cold night and the sun was gone.  
  
He looked at Naruto, he looked miserable. He dressed up his alias and for what?  
  
Nothing.  
  
"I ran all night but things just kept getting in my way," Gaara closed his eyes in return and gave an awkward smile. "I missed you, I wanted to see you tonight."  
  
Natsume beamed like he had just won a life supply of ramen, "really?" Usually he would be slapping himself for acting girlie, but with Gaara it had his benefits.  
  
Gaara got off the ground and dusted himself off. Natsume's face was red with blush. Gaara closed his eyes trying to imagine a grinning blushing Naruto kicking his feet back and forth on a pier.  
  
It was at that time that Naruto decided to become Natsume.  
  
Gaara leaned forward, sliding his fingers through his short hair. Natsume, with Naruto's broad smile, pressed her body against Gaara's body. She dangled the bottle, tempting Gaara to kiss her. "You ordered a bottle of wine?" She winked suggestively, "who needs a crowd? Spectators are noisy gossips."  
  
Gaara bent forward to whisper in Natsume's ear, "I love you."  
  
Natsume's lips met Gaara's for a split second.  
  
Before it all was suddenly interrupted.  
  
"Gaara! Gaara! Sasuke's drunk!" Sasuke was indeed drunk, however he was sleeping and seemed at peace. Sakura looked disheveled and Lee looked a bit agitated. Temari was standing casually beside the two, however she wasn't too impressed with the outcomes of the night's events.  
  
She blinked. Natsume and Gaara, together.  
  
She slapped her forehead. 'I just interrupted their together time.'  
  
The bodies of the lovers parted and stood in attention, like soldiers side by side.  
  
"I'm sorry, Gaara. Neji is sleeping at Kankuro's house but there's still not enough room for Sasuke." She noticed the romantic mood of the two tragic lovers had now once again, spoiled. "In addition he still needs to be looked after." Temari didn't even have to ask, but she did anyway. "Can you."  
  
"Yes," Natsume tucked the bottle under her arm again.  
  
Gaara groaned.  
  
Tonight was not his night.  
  
===========  
  
Sasuke was sleeping in Gaara's spare room. Gaara on the floor of his living room. In Gaara's bed Naruto out of his jutsu slept soundly.  
  
'What's wrong with this picture,' Gaara thought. He sneezed, rubbing his nose he cursed himself for not closing the window. Half of his belongings were now cold and sand covered.  
  
If Gaara had his way. Gaara's fist clenched, if Gaara had his way Sasuke would be sleeping outside in the dirt and he and Naruto would be making love in his bedroom.  
  
Gaara was tucked under a single throw blanket, a couch pillow tucked under his head.  
  
"To love and not be loved is cruel isn't it?"  
  
The stucco white ceiling didn't answer.  
  
Gaara frowned. "You don't talk much."  
  
===========  
  
Naruto's head was swirling.  
  
"Where am I?" Spewed from his mouth but he knew exactly where he was.  
  
Naruto stood in a fancy hall. The walls were wallpapered blood red with thin white stripes.  
  
Odd decorations lined up against the walls.  
  
No matter where he was or how the room was redone, it was the same place.  
  
At the end of it as usual, was the nine tails fox demon.  
  
How many times had he walked down his halls.  
  
Now all his dreams lead down to this hall.  
  
Each hall different every now and then, but the same.  
  
Before in his dreams, he sat at the other end of the hall and sitting in his dreams for hours or until he woke up. Always trying to avoid the crafty nine tails fox.  
  
But now pressed against the bars was a child.  
  
A blonde child, as if it was HIS child.  
  
If felt like meeting a bastard child of his that he never created.  
  
He felt like running up to the bars and grab the would-be child.  
  
But in the depth of his eyes, the child bore the evil intent of the nine tails fox.  
  
Naruto approached the child cautiously. His footsteps clapped against the ground and the nine tails fox demon bobbed his head to the sound.  
  
Like it was music.  
  
Naruto stopped in front of cage, the bars were thicker and closer together. It was different from when the nine tails fox demon was in his original form. He stood a safe distance away from the bars and waited in for the first words.  
  
The nine tails fox smirked, feeling smug at getting Naruto to come over.  
  
"What's the matter Naruto." The child slapped his hand against his head, "Ah. Natsume. How long have you been denying yourself the right to exist."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Naruto snapped. His eyes were shooting daggers at the fox-boy. "What sick game are you playing?"  
  
The boy paced against the bars, side to side, "you wanted to talk to me, Naruto?"  
  
Naruto took a step back, "what are you saying? You created this world!"  
  
The fox-boy started to bang his head against the bars. Naruto held his spot with great difficulty. He looked away but the sound of the impact of metal against a skull sent shivers down his spine.  
  
"Those stupid. Stupid villagers." The boy withdrew his head, blood trickling down his cherub face. "Don't you agree with me? They're really ignorant--" He nudged forth, motioning with his hand for Naruto to agree. "--Aren't they?"  
  
"Sh-Shut up." Naruto turned against the wall, throwing his body and limbs driven by anger and hatred. He went on for a long time, drowning out his thoughts and feelings.  
  
Blood was drawn from his fists as he withdrew them. Tears trickled down his cheek.  
  
He sobbed, "shut up!"  
  
He turned his back and fell backwards. His spine hit the wall and he slid down to a sitting position. He sat there staring at the other wall. On it was a frame with a picture. It was of Gaara and Natsume. Natsume's arms wrapped around the nine tails fox demon in a boy form.  
  
It was like a happy, family photo.  
  
Too good to be true, Naruto examined further.  
  
The frame was falling apart.  
  
"Why are you still here?" He asked finally, eyes breaking from the picture.  
  
The boy clapped and raised his hands into the air to show off his new body image, "I tried a human form. How do I look, Naruto?" Naruto looked at the boy with hatred, the boy looked back with a hurt expression. "You know. I'm a person too."  
  
"You're a demon." Naruto spat.  
  
The boy took a step away from the bars and nodded. "I stand corrected." They looked at each other for a long while. "How long since we last met like this?"  
  
"I don't know." Naruto covered his face with his hand, "it all happened so fast."  
  
"I remember." The small child sat of the floor and Naruto did the same, both facing each other.  
  
"I wanted to forget all of that--" Naruto looked at his boys eyes, "but you won't let me. Won't you?"  
  
===========  
  
Naruto's Memory #5869089  
  
"Sasuke!"  
  
".."  
  
"Sasuke!"  
  
"......."  
  
"Sasuke!" Sakura bit her lip in frustration, they were Jounen and he was still. Sasuke had barely changed. "Sasuke!"  
  
Sasuke turned around, hands clasped behind his back. "What is it, Sakura?"  
  
Naruto watched at the two of them, jealous. Sakura was talking about getting ramen for lunch, "I always see you hanging out there, Sasuke." Sakura beamed, Sasuke's heart would surely be hers, and inner Sakura noted. 'Around that Naruto too!'  
  
Naruto's stomach growled, he was thinking about the same thing. "Ramen. That sounds good."  
  
"You're not allowed to come," was the automatic response direct to Naruto.  
  
"Gaaahhh!!" Naruto fell over defeated. He really wanted ramen today. But Sakura would kill him if he ruined her Sasuke time. Sakura walked away dragging Sasuke behind her. Sasuke looked back at Naruto, smug with his victory over Naruto. Naruto burned, his inner fire was unquenched. "I'm going to be Hokage, then I'll show that Sasuke."  
  
He made a fist and punched the ground.  
  
/memory end  
  
===========  
  
"You sure will, Naruto!" The nine tails fox demon kicked his legs in front of him bored. "So. How's the Hokage thing going? You Hokage yet?"  
  
"Shut up!" Naruto growled.  
  
But the young boy only laughed. "And Sasuke became Hokage too, didn't he? When's the part you fall in love with him."  
  
Naruto blushed. He hid his cheeks. "Not yet."  
  
===========  
  
Naruto's Memory #6003790  
  
"Sasuke, Congratulations." Naruto couldn't believe it. They had chosen Sasuke over him. They chose Sasuke as a Hokage.  
  
He walked, inhuman. His own body was no longer in his control. His limbs were flowing unnaturally, moving too gracefully. Before anyone could move or blink, it was like magic or sorcery. He grabbed Sasuke's throat. A low growl tapped from the nine tail fox deep within his soul and the source of his sadness was audible, Naruto's grip tightened: he was going to kill Sasuke.  
  
"Sasuke! What the hell do you think you're doing?"  
  
Sasuke didn't fight back, a shame or sadness in his eyes. "...."  
  
Naruto wanted to shake him, make him scream, cry.  
  
He hated Sasuke.  
  
Naruto's face was too close to Sasuke's face. "At least answer me? You stole my one reason to live!" Sasuke closed his eyes, ignoring Naruto's words. He grabbed Naruto's wrist, holding it, loosening the grip. "I should kill you!" Naruto cried, "I want to kill you."  
  
"Hokage!" The villages scrambled to get their beloved Hokage to his feet. "Hokage!" They withdrew their weapon, full of hatred and ready to kill Naruto.  
  
"That Naruto. There was always something wrong with him," whispered a housewife.  
  
"Stupid Naruto! Sasuke beat him up!" Yelled a Sasuke supporter.  
  
"Naruto? What the hell do you think you're doing? Sasuke is your friend." Sakura was hurt most of all. Naruto was being watched by all of Leaf Village. She was torn between the man she loved and the man who loved her.  
  
Judgment.  
  
He swore under his breath. "I know."  
  
Sasuke could not say a word, but he wanted to talk to Naruto. To tell him, "I." Naruto walked away from the festivities, silently.  
  
No one stopped him from leaving, nor did they turn away.  
  
They just stood and watched with cold eyes.  
  
/memory end  
  
===========  
  
Naruto looked at the nine tails fox. He was sleeping. Bored to death perhaps.  
  
'Sakura probably thought it was just Naruto being pissed about not becoming Hokage. Acting like a little kid,' Naruto thought, looking at his palms.  
  
'At that time I only saw Sasuke as an obstacle in my path. I hated his guts, and the fact that he became my friend made it hurt more. At that time I was so involved in my goal that I didn't notice Sasuke at all. I want to be Hokage.  
  
'Was that what made Sasuke fall in love with me.' Naruto smiled at the warm memory. 'He's got a weird way of showing you his feelings. Like the way little boys want to get your attention by pulling your hair.  
  
"I guess I'm the same way."  
  
===========  
  
Naruto's Memory #6004987  
  
"Sasuke." Sakura examined Sasuke's face, much to his dismay. He slipped away to his desk where he brooded and signed forms. She almost gave up, but a girl had to relentless to catch Sasuke.  
  
"You look pale. I'm worried. You're not eating much."  
  
/memory end  
  
============  
  
'At that time I wasn't eating either. But nobody noticed. Sakura was really into Sasuke. She did see it. But.'  
  
============  
  
Naruto's Memory #6005007  
  
Sakura and Naruto had been walking home together ever since they had become Jounen. The sun was setting in the distance, illuminating Leaf village with a tangerine orange glow.  
  
Naruto hid his unhappiness. He didn't want to sadden Sakura anymore or anyone else. Selfishness or not.  
  
He had to be a man. Be a man, he repeated in his head.  
  
He looked at the sun wistfully, like it was the most beautiful thing in the world.  
  
Sakura put Naruto in a headlock, "SAKURA?!"  
  
"C'mon! That was too easy, you could have lost your life if I was a hired killer," Sakura joked, poking and prodding at Naruto's face.  
  
[Only friends] appeared next to Sakura's name in his mind.  
  
[Not Hokage material] appeared under his name, next to hers. He slouched over with Sakura still on his back, depressed.  
  
Sakura felt guilty for putting Naruto in this mood, she jumped off Naruto's back and slapped his spine back to life. "Naruto, cheer up! I'm sure. You can become a Senin. Our village could really use one."  
  
Naruto stood with new vigor, "Sakura, thank you." He sighed, Sakura was right. No use sulking, "I'm fine. I'll become a great, perverted Senin!"  
  
Sakura and Naruto burst in guffaw, laughing until they both doubled over and their sides hurt.  
  
Neither knew why they were laughing. They both just needed to release all the mixed feeling and wasted emotions they gathered during the years.  
  
They continued on their way when they an AD caught Naruto's eye. It was Sasuke's image. He was an idol in their village.  
  
Someone had put it up to show their gratitude to Sasuke, it was embarrassingly common. But the village had improved greatly under his command.  
  
Sakura snorted. "That idiot. He's working too hard. He's getting sick."  
  
"Huh?" Naruto looked at his friend who had stopped walking.  
  
Sakura bore the face of a bitter, scorned lover.  
  
/memory end  
  
============  
  
'I was studying to become a Senin. I learned more things than Sasuke ever did.. I felt like I had to still fight even though I was not Hokage. There were still many things I wanted to protect.' Naruto paused.  
  
He looked at the nine tails fox on the cold floor. He was sleeping like a baby in his human child form.  
  
'What would I ever do if I had become Hokage?' Naruto question the past self who strove for something he hardly didn't understand. 'I wanted to exist, but being Hokage would not erase my problems. After Sasuke had destroyed my dream, I probably wouldn't have been a good Hokage.' He rubbed his eyes.  
  
His anger almost killed Sasuke.  
  
'Hokage was able to walk around. But he never got any better.  
  
'I began to notice.  
  
'Sasuke passing by my house ever so often. He rotated ever so often, so not to get caught. He'd always look up when he thought I wasn't looking.  
  
'I was.'  
  
Naruto looked up at the high part opposite of the one with Naruto, Gaara and the nine tailed fox.  
  
'One day, it was raining. I was coming home from training I saw Sasuke on my porch. Half-dead.  
  
'When I saw Sasuke lying on the ground, I was just going to walk past him. Like he didn't exist. I didn't want him to exist at this point.'  
  
===========  
  
Naruto's Memory #6006798  
  
Naruto was half tempted to kick Sasuke out of the way but his eyes.  
  
"Naruto. I'm sorry. I never meant it to be like this," Sasuke gagged on a cough. His eyes were half lidded and it looked he had snapped.  
  
Naruto kneeled at Sasuke's side, "Sasuke. You're not going to die, you idiot."  
  
"I wanted you to notice me." Sasuke confessed.  
  
Naruto gulped his anger down.  
  
"How could I not notice you?"  
  
/memory end  
  
===========  
  
Naruto's Memory #6007325  
  
Sakura beamed as Naruto gobbled down her gift of Ramen.  
  
It was the least she could do. Naruto was a hero. He had saved Sasuke from death and was nursing him back to health.  
  
Though it annoyed her that Sasuke was still at his house, too sick and high with fever to be moved.  
  
"Even thought I'm against it," she lifted up a stack of paper and dropped it on Naruto's desk. She folded her arms together. "I was going to take Sasuke his paperwork to him, but something came up." She smiled awkwardly, Lee had come back from a mission and they were going to celebrate his survival. "Um, Naruto."  
  
Naruto looked at the pile, Sasuke was at his home so it didn't really bother him much. "I'll run it for you."  
  
Sakura wiped the sweat off her forehead and clasped her hands together. "Thank you, I really appreciate it."  
  
/memory end  
  
===========  
  
Naruto's Memory #6007330  
  
"Naruto." Sasuke had been sleeping until he heard Naruto cooking a meal.  
  
He winced, Naruto? Cooking?  
  
Naruto came in with a tray and set it on the table. "Sa-suke.?" Naruto sat in a wooden chair pulled up beside the bed. He picked up a piece of the store bought sushi with his chopsticks.  
  
"I thought you were cooking," Sasuke looked at the sushi held to his lips, "Naruto?"  
  
"Sasuke, can you move your body?"  
  
"It's hard."  
  
"Then don't complain," with indifferent eyes he moved it close to Sasuke's lips. "Ahhh."  
  
The piece of sushi rolled off mountains in the sheets to the floor.  
  
Naruto looked up at Sasuke who had pinned him down. "Sasuke..."  
  
"Naruto." He looked deep within Naruto's eyes, he was stunned. Sasuke gulped, "I think. I love you."  
  
A vein appeared on Naruto's forehead. "Idiot! That was a good piece of expensive sushi!"  
  
"GAAAHHHH!!!!" Sasuke was tackled by Naruto and disappeared under the sheets. 'It was a change,' Sasuke thought through his struggling, 'but at least I get to see Naruto.'  
  
/memory end  
  
=============  
  
"And that's when it started, didn't it." Asked the nine tails fox, face pressed onto the bars.  
  
=============  
  
Authors note:  
  
Cruel aren't I?  
  
Actually I read a review and almost lost the will to write..  
  
That extra I left because I just didn't want to leave for a week with out some "closure".  
  
But after reading that review it got extended to two weeks. Err..  
  
=============  
  
Replies to Reviews Section thingy. Can't remember what I called it before  
  
Panatlantic, I changed it. Though I will continue the extra. Hey. I'm bored.  
  
Zam Angelina. Yes!  
  
WuffieLuver, thank you.  
  
Cheyrl-chan, heh heh. I need more Irukaka. More extras?  
  
Sun, um. yes.  
  
Athravan, heh heh. I feels bad for the GxNxS fans.  
  
doragon Yeah. That was G x N X S filler thingy. Sorry.  
  
He was dead! I never knew! Gah... Too late to change.  
  
Shadow of Arashi. We really need a KakaInru Extra.  
  
Inuchan, I don't know that I want.  
  
no one u know, DO I KNOW YOU?!?  
  
Nemi, soon my pet, soon.  
  
Dan Inverse, heh heh sorry.  
  
Atomstar, I thought of all the wild couples and I thought yeah. [Shifts uncomfortably]  
  
m-i, is Hirame your real signed name? Kawaii!  
  
Inuchan, updating. Sorry! Sorry!  
  
Tsukasa, sorry! Sorry! Extra!  
  
Vampire Goddess Jekyll, we really need a KakaIru now.  
  
Soltian, how about ShikaTemari?  
  
Annachan, it was like. last minute. I'm a hentai.  
  
Chikachy, edit!!!!! Hurry. Gwah.  
  
Sorry. I can't say much.  
  
==============  
  
Next Chapter  
  
Love is not strong enough.  
  
Justice in a corrupt court.  
  
Murder.  
  
A road built on dead bodies.  
  
A twisted Eve of sorts awakens.  
  
Abandoning one's face. The reflection of himself left at the gate before the passage to paradise.  
  
Death.  
  
[Sentences pasted together into a preview]  
  
[Review. Oh by the way. I have room for improvement but am acceptable by government standards.] 


	9. Extra: Spicy Ramen SxN

A Sexy Jutsu  
  
By Mukumuku  
  
Disclaimer: It's not mine, it's his! (Point to Kishimoto-san)  
  
============  
  
Of all the people I care about, Naruto, why am I in love with you?  
  
Why does everything about you invade my senses?  
  
Your loud, pervading voice echoing through the halls, demanding a rematch.  
  
The scent of your sweat after you train desperately in an effort to become stronger. Stronger than me.  
  
Your tendency to get in my face when you're angry and my inability to ignore it any longer.  
  
The way you attack me when we spar... The anger, power in each punch, kick, and ninjustu you throw just to get closer to me.  
  
And most of all the way your mouth tastes. Had you brushed your teeth that day I would never known.  
  
Every human quality that I hated had driven into my mind. Ironic the fact is that it drove me to obsess a little. Notice things I would never knew when I bothered.  
  
The lingering taste of Naruto that one could never wash out of their mouth.  
  
My mouth, to be more precise. If was not the taste, it was the memory of what tasted like it, anything that moved in my mouth reminded me of it.  
  
Haunting me like a ghost.  
  
I found myself suffocating, drowning without it.  
  
And now when you fade into the background, I can't forget you. Like you're been permanently imprinted into my mind. I find myself searching for that rare person that is born once every thousand of years or so.  
  
Naruto Umazaki.  
  
How can you be so cruel as to tempt me? What they say is true; you are the devil.  
  
I watch as Naruto wiped his hands clean on the apron and glide towards me. He's starting to move more smoothly, like an animal and less like Naruto.  
  
Ugh. I'm already making reference to him. I feel like kicking myself. I can't separate the two of them anymore. And Naruto knows it too.  
  
"Sasuke," he says in a low voice, "do you know where the next Chunnin tournament will be held." My head snaps up, Naruto looks a little startled by my sudden movements lately. I can't blame him for being nervous or jumpy. There are so many things that he has to worry about. Most of all, the genin team I asked him to take up this year. He's grown to love them and he's treating them as if they were his own kids, I'm relieved and jealous. But I've heard that Naruto is a ruthless, mother hen who trains his genin hard.  
  
Harder than Kakashi.  
  
And they love him to death.  
  
I lower the cup, pushing a bang back in place. "It's taking place in the ____ village."  
  
He looks tiredly at his cup, "oh," he replies. The sound fades as if he never spoke.  
  
I laugh inwardly. He doesn't like tea that much but he always makes it when I come over as if it was a Sasuke repelling ritual. Even during dinner. It's odd. The brand of tea he uses always tastes a bit different than the ones in the village, I wonder to myself where Naruto has gotten the recipe but I'm not in the mood to pry today.  
  
He finishes refilling my tea and takes a seat across from me, I never knew Naruto drank tea. It must be a trait that he picked up from somewhere.  
  
Probably not from someone, a book, perhaps. I can't imagine it. Naruto, over a book, stressing over every detail of the meal he cooks. I look at my empty plate, it really shows or perhaps I'm in love. Who knows really?  
  
But then again, I'm noticing there are more plants growing around the room. Small clusters of herbs and tomato plants lined up on a clean windowsill. The place is cleaner and there's hardly anymore ramen packages in his cupboards. Books neatly place to the side.  
  
When did Naruto get reading glasses? They're beside their case. It looks too neat for Naruto.  
  
Naruto is beginning to change and adapt. Perhaps in the end he had little choice but to submit to the human trait. Remain, as he was, a loud-mouthed kid or become a responsible adult. But that still doesn't change how the older generation is treating him. I don't know much about the incident with the 9 tails fox and him being Naruto, but what I do know is that people still see Naruto as a threat and.  
  
I shake my head. I could never ask Naruto of it. I could never lose Naruto like that.  
  
He must be used to it now. All these years of rejection.  
  
To think, of all people he rejected me in the beginning.  
  
Heh, I'm not the type of person who you can't escape from easily. My face is all over the town. People talk about me all the time. Hell, my face is on the side of a mountain. What more do you want in life? It was Naruto was the person who really grew on you, like moss. I would have lost him if we never became silent rivals afterwards.  
  
Just like back then.  
  
Naruto has been looking out the window. He probably wants to be outside now. His eyes snap back to mine, I look into his beautiful eyes. "Are you enjoying your tea?" He asks.  
  
"It's a little to hot," I comment mischievously, "you're improving, it's not longer cold."  
  
Naruto, if you don't fight back you'll be snuffed out. You'll die, and that's what they want. I want to grab him and drive it into him. I only have myself to blame, my lips bleeds as I try to find another source to direct my anxiety.  
  
Naruto is fuming inside. I'm glad that he's really trying his best, but I can't help but rile him up. I worry if I wake up one day Naruto will be a completely different person. Someone I don't know anymore. I don't want lose the one I love or forget all things that me love him.  
  
I'm scared to love, I'm afraid of what love will do to you but I want what it gives me. I look at my fork, twisting it in my fingers.  
  
"Sas. Sasuke." He's looking at me worried.  
  
I realized I forgot to thank him for the meal, dinner had been so quiet that I forgot that I was having it Naruto not another Kage or business partner. "Naruto. thank you for this meal," I give him a small smile to reassure him. "Your cooking has improved as well as your tea."  
  
He jumps from his seat, ah, so this is what he wanted to hear. He slides back into his old bragging slouch, his grin alive as he speaks proudly. "Really! How I did I do! I've been reading a lot of books! And I---"  
  
"It's average." I feel evil.  
  
He slides out of his seat and stares at the ceiling. "But I worked so hard!"  
  
"Naruto, what type of recipes are these?" I pointed to my empty plate with a fork at my fingertips.  
  
"They're the local culinary dishes." Naruto recites like a parrot that thinks he knows what he's saying.  
  
"They're not suited for you," I snap back, he's taken by surprise like I slapped him out of thin air. Perhaps I'm being a little too cold. He sits back in his seat, upset. "You should pursue something else."  
  
He looks at me angrily; I can hear his soft whispering. "You should be grateful I'm even cooking for you!" He snorts. "You arrogant bastard."  
  
He looks out the window, away from me again. "Naruto." He looks at me, mainly because he, even though he's angry, still cares about what I have to say. "Next time. Cook me something spicy."  
  
"Huh?" He looks at me for a long time as if I asked him to run away with me and have ten kids.  
  
"The local dishes. They lack something."  
  
"Is it because I'm a bad cook?" He replies, expecting an unappreciative outcome.  
  
I shake my head, "no, they don't taste like you."  
  
I push my chair out of my way, my schedule cleared for the week. I loosen my clothing a little, just to heat up the room.  
  
In this relationship, if I never pursued Naruto he would have never loved me back. Just as how Naruto came into my life by becoming my rival. If he hadn't I would have never known.  
  
"Sasuke!" He protests, "I'll. Er, get sick." I ignore him forcing him to him bedroom. Not like he took a bite tonight anyway. "Sasuke!" His lips were silenced when I kissed him, like in many cheesy romance novels piled on Sakura's desk.  
  
He tastes like spicy ramen.  
  
Naruto sits at his end of the table with no escape in sight he can't run or worm his way out. "You're been eating ramen behind my back again. No wonder you lack you usual endless appetite," I smirk.  
  
"Sasuke," he chokes out.  
  
"Naruto."  
  
===========================  
  
"Sasuke! You look happier. Who did you have sex with?"  
  
"Do you want to be fired?"  
  
"Awww. C'mon boss! That's unfair!"  
  
"Stop prying."  
  
"Sasuke, c'mon! Tell us what got you into such a good mood today."  
  
"Leave him alone," Sakura pushes the pests out of the room and open the window letting a clean gust of wind in. It makes the room feel cleaner... Nicer. "All taken care of, Lord Hokage."  
  
"Thank you Sakura." Turning my head and looking out my window, I spot Naruto in his element, walking towards his genin. He reminds me of someone.  
  
Not Kakashi.  
  
Nah.  
  
He looks up from his students and waves at me, jokingly blowing me a kiss.  
  
Naruto.  
  
I'm blushing. Sakura pokes my cheek and I let her get away with it.  
  
My eyes move to the hall of Hokage portraits, he looks.  
  
He looks like the forth.  
  
========== 


	10. Prelude to disaster

A Sexy Jutsu  
  
By Mukumuku  
  
Disclaimer: It's not mine, it's his! (Point to Kishimoto-san)  
  
============  
  
Lying under a tree, Naruto tossed and turned. The sunlight kept annoying him persisted in invading his rest. He sighed. He didn't have much to do anyway, nothing but sleep...  
  
He could train.  
  
.  
  
.  
  
'Nah,' too boring. 'Too hot to stay inside and too stuffy.' Lately Naruto had been feeling claustrophobic; he never knew how it just became aware to him lately. A claustrophobic ninja? How would he do his job if anyone found out?  
  
"Probably just the demon inside of me like the wild," tall building were nice and all, but they made him feel lonely. People in room, separated by walls. It made him sad.  
  
He was lonely.  
  
Nobody but Sasuke or Sakura to talk to all day, he would have gone mad without either of them.  
  
Occasionally Iruka would drop by and even he was having trouble crawling away from Kakashi and Gai's rivalry and male head butting. Which was hard to imagine unless you saw it. In fact, just recently the two managed to level a new restaurant in a brawl.  
  
Sasuke never had the time to take him out to that restaurant, and finally when they could go it got leveled in a school yard fight gone out of control. Sasuke did make up for it. In fact, he insisted he'd make up for it.  
  
Sasuke was annoying. He was like a fate you couldn't escape.  
  
Of course Naruto still loved him, but lately he became worried just thinking about Sasuke. Sasuke didn't trust him. Or more, didn't trust the nine tails fox inside of him. He was the new Hokage. It was a new era. Maybe Sasuke would be on his side. But then he could turn against him for the sake of the village.  
  
'Sasuke wouldn't do that, would he?' He yawned. 'Try not to think much and just relax,' Naruto told himself. But the effort in ignoring it still made him tired. He managed to doze off, three hours later. By the time he woke up the day was over, he still felt like he had never slept at all. His eyes finally creaked open to his name being called.  
  
Not many knew where Naruto like to spend his alone time. The few who did never bothered him anyway. He smiled, his genin were back from their Chunin Exam. They were loud and noisy just like him. Well maybe not Ichigo, but Jun and Sana you couldn't miss.  
  
He looked up. It wasn't his genin.  
  
It was stranger, dressed in a navy blue uniform of some sort, black hair falling down his back. He had a flashback to a feminine Haku, only to be stopped by his height and manly physique. It also reminded him of Sasuke a bit, because of the clothing. "Hello?"  
  
"Naruto," it was an old retired Jounen. He hadn't seen him in a while. He seemed familiar like he had seen him around the village here and there when he was a kid but his name never popped up into his head. The older man smiled, his eyes hidden by a pair of sunglasses. The corners of his lips seemed too long, arching upward and curling. Naruto shuddered. "May I have a moment?"  
  
He felt colder, the day was stolen and it had been gone too long. The emptiness and lack of warmth was flavoured with hesitancy. Then man inched closer, a hand offering help to the boy in assisting him in standing.  
  
Naruto turned his face away from the man, focusing on happy things. "What did you want to talk to me about." He dug his nail into the trees bark in an effort to scramble up the tree backward, the roughness pressed against his back as he was cornered by the mystery man.  
  
Callused fingers caressed his cheek. His mouth too close to Naruto's ear, he felt the wisps of breath on his neck as the man spoke. "Please, come with us."  
  
'Us?' His eyes moved from side to side in his head, looking for the hidden Jounen. He couldn't see them. It made him feel embarrassed, he tried to push the stranger away but he was enveloped in his arms. "Why should I."  
  
The man pressed his body against Naruto's young body, in a low rumbling voice he ventured on, "I know what you are." He grinned, white teeth baring, bright and wolf-like, "you the nine tailed fox demon."  
  
Naruto pushed him away, the man had just decided to release him at that second. "So. What?" Naruto felt as trapped as a wild animal. He held his breath waiting for his reply.  
  
The man picked a budding branch off the tree, playing with it. "I have someone, if you do not cooperate with us, she dies." The twig snapped.  
  
He was mentally twisting Naruto's arm behind his back. "I thought you were the good guys."  
  
"I may not be able to play that part, but neither can you with as many lives as you have taken!" The older man calmed down but Naruto had only started getting angry. The man smirked, "come on, Naruto. Give yourself up now, it'll only get harder later."  
  
Naruto placed his hand on his side. "And whose smart idea is this?"  
  
"The Hokage's!" The night exploded with anger, negative emotion pouring in from all direction. Naruto's legs nearly bucked under the tension. There were too many. His hand covered his mouth, muffling his shock.  
  
"Shut up! You're lying." He shook his head, his body not in synch.  
  
"How do you know that what I'm saying is not the truth." The man placed his hand on his heart, "I know about what you're trying to do! I cannot allow there to be anymore demons in this world." A kunai slid from his sleeve into his open hand.  
  
Naruto saw a brief opening to the left. He moved for it only to have it close, a mob moved in on him. They spilled in from all sides of the forest and surrounded him. Faces he knew and their children, his ex-classmates bearing grim faces. Their weapons were drawn out before them. He was going to be killed.  
  
Naruto chuckled. He'd have to plow through them to survive. Even then the outcome was not favourable for him. He would have to die by Sasuke's hand for protecting himself, and if he didn't. He would die. "How-how did you know?"  
  
"I just did." The man replied, he and the other's covered their faces. It would have mattered. They had nothing to hide.  
  
"I won't give up!" Naruto pulled out all the weapons he had on him and went into a battle stance; he bit teeth into a kunai. "I'll never give in!"  
  
"It'll hurt a lot, Naruto, but in the end we can all sleep at night knowing that no more nine tailed foxes will be brought into this world." The man descended on Naruto, reenacting the fall of the 9 tails fox in his mind all those years ago. "You are the one person who does not deserve to live here."  
  
==========  
  
-----------------  
  
"Sterile." Naruto 's looked at his folded hands. He didn't understand, it wasn't clear to him at all.  
  
The doctor continued on, "I'm sorry, but you can't have any children, Mr. Umazaki."  
  
"There must be some way." He forced his words. Strangled and dying. He forced them onto a doctor who only shook her head. "I'm sorry, I can't help you beyond informing you. But I can tell you the source of this." The purple curls on her head bounced as she returned to the clipboard in her lap.  
  
She flipped through it to a note that she carried to the other side of the room, she pushed her way through this cabinet and reached for a viscous liquid with lots of handwriting on it. It was held in a small blue vial. "This chemical is the same one I think caused all of this." He passed to chemical to Naruto. "This amount," she added counting on her fingers as Naruto examined the fluid, "one or even ten are okay, but it seems you've been taking this chemical for a long time."  
  
"H-how."  
  
"Years," Naruto looked at the doctor, had he been eating it for years? "It would hardly do anything to you, not even irritate skin," she took the vial back and placed it back in the cupboard. Naruto's eyes followed her back to her seat. "However, if you were to eat this daily, it would build up in your body. The results not only to your reproductive organs, but your mind." Naruto's eyes dialed. He wasn't hearing this. He couldn't. "Time is running out. You'll soon."  
  
"Can we reverse the effects." He looked at the doctor with hope. He would be crushed, in the end he always was.  
  
"You've been taking this chemical for a prolonged time, the effects are irreversible." She brought them back to their more dire concern, "I'm just worried about the other effects on your body."  
  
"I wasn't feeling well..." Naruto paused. "I never thought."  
  
He clenched his fist. "I'll find a way." His mind was still lingering on his inability to have children.  
  
She touched her patient's shoulder, bringing him back to reality. "I'm sorry, Mr. Umazaki, there's always adoption."  
  
Naruto closed his eyes leaning back. "I've tried it. They. Won't let me. They say I'll be an unfit father." The doctor forced Naruto's face up to looks into her eyes. "Don't let that get you down, there has to be some way."  
  
All his will to live was gone now. He had nothing. Nothing. No one. "I've always wanted a family. To have that taken away from me."  
  
"I'm sorry, Naruto, but there's nothing more I can do."  
  
"No possible way?" He asked again.  
  
"It's impossible." Her eyes narrowed and looked to a memory back in her years of studies. "Well. Maybe."  
  
"I'll do anything. I'll risk anything." He shouted. The doctor's eyes didn't change. She knew he would eventually. She knew he would say it, because he wanted it. He deserved it. "Even if it kills me, I'll find a way." Naruto looked up at the clock, time was running out for him indeed. He exited the room in a hurry to get nowhere before the doctor stopped him.  
  
"Oh by the way, do you think you can get the Hokage to come by?"  
  
"Huh?" He turned around; the doctor clapped her hands together. "Sakura Haruno has been booking appointments and forcing him to come however he's missed his appointment today." The beautiful doctor pulled at her growing wrinkles; stress was giving her wrinkles and shortening her life.  
  
Naruto nodded. "If I see him, I will."  
  
-----------------  
  
"Lonely. Terribly lonely."  
  
-----------------  
  
"That's impossible."  
  
"Your jutsu."  
  
"Huh." Naruto paused, 'yes, my jutsu.' He now understood. "Yes."  
  
"Combine it with this forbidden jutsu." The weighed down piece of paper billowed in the room fan, she tapped it loudly to draw him to it.  
  
He gritted his teeth. "It's not right."  
  
She sighed. 'It was never enough was it?' Long hours in the office, nights of research. "Well. You said anything." She shrugged, defeated. "I thought of everything."  
  
"It's just an illusion." He nudged the doctor. "Right."  
  
"An. Illusion." She snorted. "I don't know."  
  
"I'm sorry, Naruto but I have other patients, when you've reached your decision. Which I hope will be soon, please contact me."  
  
"Thank you a lot, Doctor Natsume."  
  
"Hey, Naruto." She waved her hand. "Take care of yourself." She slid in a joke, "good luck with Sasuke."  
  
He nodded in return. "You too. Aya."  
  
-----------------  
  
==========  
  
"Naruto!" The voices were calling him. He couldn't see them. Weak lids would even responding to his smallest whims. His body was numb, his arms were aching, the weight of his body directed to his ankles and wrist.  
  
He was dead for sure. They must be angels.  
  
'No. Heaven can't be this noisy.'  
  
His eyes creaked open. How long had he been sleeping here like this?  
  
'No. Don't look at me.' He thought absently. He shook his head, the flies buzzed around his head. He tried to ignore them.  
  
The voice continued to weep his name.  
  
'It's all in my head, I'm dreaming. No, I must be dead.'  
  
"Naruto." Moaned the name.  
  
"Please let me die." Naruto croaked. His throat was dry, lined with the taste of his own blood.  
  
His eyes bulged, shooting open, he gagged and coughed. Blood spewed forth unexpectedly, it poured out every now and then. It was the least of his worries. If only he could wipe way the irritating trickling blood in the corner of his mouth. His neck would not allow his neck to rest his head in a better angle.  
  
"Uma-Uma." Sana... He could hear Sana. Hear her crying.  
  
Ichigo looked up at his gutted and crucified hero up on his favourite tree.  
  
Their special place ruined.  
  
"Naruto."  
  
========  
  
"Sasuke. hasn't appeared in three days." Naruto stated.  
  
His eyes looked at the ceiling, body not moving. Hand in his lap neatly.  
  
"I'm sure he'll return." Aya assured him.  
  
He shook his head slowly, "Sasuke. Set me up."  
  
Aya's head fell down ashamed, "I'm sorry, I should have been more careful, they must have overheard me somewhere." Aya had tried to be as indiscreet as possible as to not get noticed for it. It was an illegal jutsu. It was the only cure. It was the only way for Naruto's dreams to come true. She had no other choice for an already dying patient.  
  
Naruto sobbed, tears gathered in the corner of his eyes. "They said. It was Sasuke." The tears refused to stop flowing, "Sasuke. Sasuke." He cried, "Sasuke." He reached for the cords attached to his body trying to pull them out. Naruto was loosing his mind. No. He had already lost his mind.  
  
"Mr. Umazaki!" Aya dove forward, grabbing the hands of yet another of her suicidal patients. "Please, get yourself back together."  
  
He shook his head, not stopping. Out of control. "I'm can't." He croaked, "anymore."  
  
"Naruto!" She pinned his hands down above him.  
  
"Please." His eyes stop moving and sat still.  
  
"Naruto?"  
  
"Give me that thing you offered before." Naruto commanded, his thin pale fingers reaching her curled ones. She moved her head to look at him. His body shot pain to every muscle. He paused before speaking again. "You're a doctor." He relaxed, taking a deep breath, "your job is to make me better."  
  
"It will not erase your problems!" She cried.  
  
"I know." He nodded once, "I'll take it."  
  
==========  
  
Where could he go? Enemies all around him. He paused.  
  
Gaara.  
  
Even if Gaara refused him, it'd be okay because he would at least have someone to kill him.  
  
"Natsume-sensei." His head whipped around to the woman aiding in his escape. She was such a good doctor.  
  
"Yes?" She pushed through the narrow back streets of the village.  
  
Naruto smiled, "thank you. For everything. I am very grateful."  
  
Aya pinched his cheek; "I knew becoming a doctor I would have to deal with cases worse than you."  
  
"Am I too much trouble?" He closed his eyes and moved in synch with her. He began to cry, the pain was a bit too much for him and he was becoming cold.  
  
"Nah. I have a pervert, sex-o-holic sister and a ditzy little sibling." He turned the corner. "Neither of them have kids and I doubt I can, I'm so busy."  
  
"Oh." He blinked.  
  
Aya yawned. She worked to hard or too long. When she got home she would have to pray for Naruto's safety as well. "If you weren't sterile, we could have hooked up."  
  
Naruto jumped, "Natsume-sensei." A dawning realization fell on him, "did you love me?"  
  
"Yes?" She asked, her head looked both ways before crossing the street.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Here we are." He let Naruto rest on the door. She opened her umbrella too late, already soaked. "Shall I take my leave?"  
  
"Uh. Yes. I think." She offered him her umbrella, but he declined. He had no strength to hold in and it would be a burden. "Thank you. For everything."  
  
She looked at her patient one last time, before turning around. He walked away not looking back. "Take care of yourself. And your jutsu."  
  
He nodded. "I will."  
  
Aya groaned, "Naruto. I mean it. Take care."  
  
That night was the last time Naruto or Aya were seen in Leaf Village ever again.  
  
==========  
  
Authors Note: Yes. I'm working backward. You say it no make sense now. Wait~!  
  
IT'LL BE REVEALED!  
  
(Trembles Evily!) 


	11. How to Catch Falling Angels

A Sexy Jutsu  
  
By Mukumuku  
  
Disclaimer: It's not mine, it's his! (Point to Kishimoto-san)  
  
============  
  
"Childless Naruto."  
  
Naruto finally heard the words the nine tails fox spoke of clearly.  
  
He heard him whisper it. Every now and then, word jumbled. The meaning was inconceivable to him during those times; the price of seclusion was insanity after all.  
  
"Why were you. Waiting to tell me this." Naruto shook his head, hand clutching at the emptiness he felt inside. "Reminding me of what I don't have," his body began to shake on it's own, tremble with disillusion.  
  
Naruto Umazaki was on the edge of insanity. Why was he remembering this? He didn't want to remember it anymore.  
  
"Just like you wear a mask, I'm wearing a mask too, Naruto...." The nine tails fox moved across to the side on which the picture of him, Naruto and Gaara. He pawed at it through the bars. Naruto now understood why the frame was falling apart.  
  
"Even though I look as if I could be your son, but I'm really am a demon inside." Furious at the nine tails fox for making that reference Naruto kicked the bars, the nine tails fox one step ahead, took a step back.  
  
He let Naruto look at him body once more, Naruto fumed. The more he saw it the more insane it drove him. "This is what you want, right Naruto. I can give you everything you dream of." He dug his nails down his cheek, drawing blood that bubbled out.  
  
Naruto flinched, 'not my son.' He fought the urge to help him, just like Yuri when she fell down and scraped her knee. 'Not my child. Not my responsibillity.'  
  
Naruto looked at the ground, listening to the nine tails fox clapping. "Even though you look like an angel, you're a demon inside too." He moved closer to Naruto, leaning near to his ear. He spoke in a voice, clear and audible. "Isn't that ironic. You're like a fallen angel Naruto," he nodded with agreement to himself. "Because of me you will never be granted a passage to paradise. A fallen angel. Like me."  
  
"You're not an angel at all!" Naruto screamed.  
  
"Neither are you." The fox child reprised, "you're supposed to be a hero. Right?"  
  
"I'm not a villain like you," Naruto spoke harshly, his nostrils flaring, "a nine tails fox demon."  
  
"What is a nine tails fox demon?" The child faked his innocence, wide eyes sparkling and full of curiosity. "Who is a demon."  
  
"You're not making sense, what do you want? What do you want to say." Naruto was frustrated, he looked at the cute face of the fox child, "get to the point. Make sense, fox."  
  
"Why should I," Naruto grimaced at this comment the fox child made, he placed his hands on his knees as he leaned forward. "If the world made any sense neither of us would be in this situation, would we?"  
  
"Shut up. You're only trying to hurt me," Naruto mentally kicked himself for stating the obvious.  
  
"Naruto why would I." The demon made a kissy face at his host, "I take care of you. Don't I Naruto."  
  
"Gaara." Naruto clenched his fist, "Gaara takes care of me!" He stood straight and tall, he knew that's what was true. "Gaara loves me."  
  
The fox boy replied with a straight face, spitting back at him coldly. "Love is not strong enough."  
  
"No." Naruto responded unconsciously, "it isn't."  
  
"Naruto, you have lost Sasuke, all you hold close. Given up your friends. Given up your life. Given up your name." The nine tails fox lashed out, the bars clattered and bent from his strength. "You have committed murder! You have killed Naruto Umazaki!!!"  
  
Murder.  
  
"I'm not a killer." Naruto slipped back into instability.  
  
But it was true. He wasn't himself anymore. In fact he was a missing ninja. Nobody knew where or who he was. Nobody knew if he existed anymore.  
  
"We kill!" Screamed the fox, "your name is sullied by mine! We are one in one. There is no separation of what we are! What did you expect Naruto? Did you really hope for justice in a corrupt court? The good of man?" The vessel of the fox was breathing deeply. Occasional chuckles from his throat filled the hall replacing Naruto's dead silence. "Really Naruto! You're so funny! This is the road we built together, Naruto. A road built on dead bodies. I'll build it high if you want so we can both look at heaven together."  
  
He now understood why the fox child's pain disturbed him.  
  
He understood now why he felt so powerless and drawn to the child in this form.  
  
The 9 tails fox in the child form called to Natsume Aya, his longing to have a family. His maternal instinct that was never shown to him by others yet he developed regardless. A twisted Eve of sorts awakened within him reaching out to the fox child, Natsume Aya was the want for children. She was everything.  
  
She had power, beauty, smarts a sense of humor.  
  
'She who was not Naruto Umazaki,' Natsume's voice laughed mockingly in his head. 'She who is not Naruto Umazaki.'  
  
"Shut up! Shut up! I'm am Naruto Umazaki!" His nails dug into his palms.  
  
Abandoning one's face for someone who was not him, he was such a fool. It changed nothing, only deepened his pain to an endless ocean of despair and regret.  
  
The reflection of himself was left at the gate before the passage to paradise.  
  
Now there was no one who knew he was not the nine tails fox.  
  
No one knew who he was in real Naruto was.  
  
"Naruto Umazaki is just a name you call yourself, but you're someone else all the time," he released his final finishing move. "Naruto Umazaki has died from your neglect. He will not return."  
  
The nine tails fox was confusing him. A migraine swept over his brain and brought tears to his eyes. He leaned his forehead against the bars. The metal was cool and soothing.  
  
He gripped the bars and sighed.  
  
Death.  
  
The 9 tailed fox reached out of the bars lashing at Naruto's stomach, ripping it open. The blood splayed onto the ground.  
  
Naruto stared in shock, he wanted to look at the severity of the wound but he knew now not to look away from the fox inside him.  
  
"Naruto you let your guard down. Like I intended. So predictable, you've really become human. Haven't you." The hand of the fox child held its place firmly within his body, not letting go.  
  
"Naruto Umazaki is dying, but if he dies." The fox child sighed, "I will as well. I must assure my future. As a nine tailed fox." Naruto reached through the bars and made some effort to grab the child neck, attempting to strangle him.  
  
The fox bit Naruto's hand, Naruto pulled his arms back out of the cage and held onto the bars for support.  
  
He felt the child's fingers move within him, it was too painful.  
  
Naruto watched the glee of the demon, he watched him lick his lips. Waiting for the taste of his blood.  
  
Sleep was creeping in on him. Death perhaps.  
  
No, death was just too good. It must be sleep.  
  
He closed his eyes.  
  
"Perhaps both our dreams will come true," the fox added as his parting words.  
  
============  
  
Authors Note:  
  
I like frogs.  
  
Frogs are cool.  
  
============  
  
The Reviewers Section  
  
Shadow of Arashi, it's gotten so dark I can't see. Actually I need glasses. I hope that was okay. I cleared three chapters. SO I CAN NOW WRITE KAKAIRU. RU! RU! Ahem.  
  
Caer, you're right. Not flowy.  
  
Wuffie. Seme. Sasuke? Ack! What was I thinking. He's reversable! (I hope!)  
  
Arthravan, I made three now.  
  
Nemi! I like you better this way. LOL! Actually. (Crabby Fanfic Cheek Pinch ATTACK!) Review!!!  
  
Cheryl-chan! You wrote BREATH!? (GASP!) You're soo cool! Thank you for your support! Foxy kid is evil, yo.  
  
Morien Alexander, It hope this doesn't make you unhappy. Nine tails is plotting.  
  
You mean, next three chapters, Annachan?  
  
Solatian, no numbers then!? J/K! I'll work harder though.  
  
Annachan, you're writing Gaara x Naruto! Ahem! Review!  
  
Dan Inverse, no. He needs it to rip out Naruto's guts.  
  
Atomstar, I wrote more! I expect a long review!  
  
no one u no..  
  
.  
  
I'm a girl.  
  
ChienEin, thank you~!  
  
==========  
  
Next Chapter:  
  
KakaIru?  
  
KakaIru..  
  
KAKAIRU!?!?  
  
....  
  
GEH!  
  
Not you, Gai!? 


	12. Extra: In Pursuit of Happiness KakaIru

A Sexy Jutsu  
  
By Mukumuku  
  
A disclaimer will disclaim. So will I. But some of these guys are mine actually. The rest of them are Kishimoto-sensei's.  
  
==============  
  
Kakashi smiled warmly, his lips attempted to push upward. But gave suddenly due to the lack of determination.  
  
His eyes started to twitch annoyed.  
  
He tried again.  
  
His face erupted into a scowl.  
  
And again.  
  
He looked creepy.  
  
And continued in pursuit for the perfect charming smile but to no avail, none matched his face.  
  
When he was done his practicing he found himself pleased.  
  
His smile was not the best, but it would be enough.  
  
He slid the fabric back over his mouth and worked on the sincerity in his face. Giving up a minute later, he moved combing his hair neatly.  
  
'Kakashi,' he thought to his inner self, 'this is not a face that can get rejected.'  
  
Indeed, his face had reverted to a stressed out, more tired look.  
  
Kakashi took in a deep breath and breathed out.  
  
He felt relaxed.  
  
He exited the washroom and walked down the hall, he moved silently through the halls as to not rise any suspicions. As he turned the corner past Sasuke's office, he attempted to ignore the sounds of new love.  
  
Or more of Naruto shouted and pushing the Hokage away. It was a speculated subject: Naruto and Sasuke's relationship. A pile of books was flung against the wall with a clatter.  
  
Several cups shattered against the ground.  
  
The loud shouts were muffled and silenced.  
  
Sasuke was a miracle worker.  
  
Really.  
  
Kakashi walked faster like he depended on it, and only stopped a when he was a door away from the room he intended to be at by 2:30. He had finally reached his destination.  
  
Kakashi took a deep breath, and breathed out.  
  
He needed to be relaxed or he's scare off Iruka.  
  
He had finally worked up the courage to ask Iruka out and rejection was intolerable. He had been more than interested in Iruka and hoped that Iruka would give him the time of day.  
  
He made a fist, 'I shall not be rejected. This is a face that cannot be rejected.'  
  
He moved several steps and absorbed the motherly aura trickling out of the doors. The room gave an air of friendliness. Peering in, he tried not to make the sliding door creak. Kakashi's eyes gazing upon Iruka-sensei's body hard at work.  
  
He did this often. He would wait till the day was over and then peer through the door at Iruka.  
  
It was not uncommon, but it still made him feel perverted. And a little sad.  
  
Iruka was always so oblivious to him, but the few times he was caught and Iruka welcomed him in with open arms. Sometimes talking with him over the health of his students and tips with dealing with certain miscreants.  
  
Kakashi found the time with Iruka pleasurable and painful. He was with Iruka but they weren't doing anything intimate at all.  
  
They we working without pay.  
  
He sighed at this thought.  
  
But he no longer was content with just watching Iruka any longer.  
  
He wanted to be with Iruka.  
  
He liked Iruka.  
  
He slid the door open at spoke in a calm, but slightly shaky.  
  
"Hello Kakashi," he smiled. Iruka smiled back warmly. Kakashi felt warmer. He congratulated himself on a good start. No student in sight at all. His work seemed light today. All was good.  
  
"May I help you?" Kakashi jolted slightly. He regained his composure. 'Why do I care so much? Just act natural.' He looked at Iruka, he began to smile nervously, "Hatake-sensei? Is everything all right?"  
  
'He called you Hatake-sensei!' Kakashi's face remained an emotionless mask despite his inner self-panicking,  
  
Iruka frowned, "is there something that you need? It's not like you to come in here like this."  
  
'Does he know that I've been watching him?' Kakashi smiled again, Iruka sighed in relief, "Iruka. I was heading down to that new restaurant that just opened up and everyone is raving about."  
  
Iruka blinked.  
  
"Iruka, are you free tonight? I you are, I'd like you to join me in a drink or two. Perhaps." Kakashi eyes had connected to Iruka's and refused to break, "I would like to get to know you." Iruka collected his pens, breaking away from Kakashi.  
  
'He's avoiding the question. Kakashi remain calm.'  
  
Kakashi and Iruka's eyes met for several seconds before Iruka's lips moved to answer.  
  
"I already promised I'd be joining Gai tonight. Sorry." Iruka tidied up his papers and pushed them aside.  
  
'Gai. He's with Gai?' Kakashi felt every part of his body freeze.  
  
"Is that all?" Iruka stood from his desk and made his way to the door where Gai had let himself in and was waiting.  
  
'I was too slow.' Kakashi thought inwardly, he returned to the faceless man of no emotions.  
  
"Oi, Iruka, let's go," Gai nudged Iruka, they both said their good-byes to Kakashi and left. Kakashi watched in like a statue.  
  
"I got beat out Gai." Kakashi mumbled under his apparent shock. "I got beat out by Gai."  
  
Turning around, Kakashi kicked an innocent garbage can into the wall, sending all his fury into it. He was so filled with rage that his white hair would have turned red with anger. "Gai. How dare you try to one up me!"  
  
He paused, "two can play at this game."  
  
===========  
  
Iruka only knew Gai as a friend and when he had asked him to try out the new restaurant in the village he accepted. He mostly wanted to talk get to know his colleges better. On the other hand he had the same relationship with Kakashi. He knew neither of them well, and being an overly caring teacher he wanted to get closer to them and especially.  
  
"Then Kakashi, you had to see him," Gai chuckled, covering his mouth and gripping his bottle of beer for dear life, "he was making a fool out of himself. Then he." Gai leaned in more, the words were jumbled in through the muffled laughs of the Jounen Instructor. Only lingerie and pigs were comprehensible.  
  
The two of them giggled like young schoolgirls.  
  
Iruka wiped away the tears in the corner of his eyes. "Wow, I'd never knew he was like that."  
  
"Yeah, he can be really forward sometimes," Gai chuckled. "He used to be such an ass sometimes, you know that he was the best," Gai sighed looking back to the old days. "You know, a lot of the girls thought he was cute and ogled him a lot. But he never knew."  
  
"Were you jealous?" Iruka teased using his fake feminine wiles.  
  
"Why would I be jealous?" Gai grinned, poking back at Iruka. "He didn't look a single one of them." Iruka looked at Gai in surprise. Gai raised his beer to Iruka before he gulped most of his beer down. "Yeah, he was gay."  
  
Iruka traced his finger along the rim of his glass. "You think I'll have a chance."  
  
"He already likes you," Gai replied straightforward.  
  
Iruka was taken back, "r-r-r-really?"  
  
"Yep." Gai nodded, he smiled. He really felt guilt, but Iruka wanted to know more about Kakashi and was afraid to ask. Both of them were acting shy.  
  
Iruka blushed and played with his napkin nervously.  
  
"Thank you for your support Gai," Iruka blushed redder. 'I feel better now knowing, that deep down, Kakashi is a good man.'  
  
=============  
  
'Damn that Gai. I wanted to make Iruka blush that way.' His fist had been clenched ever since Iruka departed. He grinned to himself like the devil. He motioned to his evil assailant, his partner in crime. "Do me this favour, Lee."  
  
"Kakashi-sensei." Lee looked around nervously, in the empty hall. No one was there and no one was looking. But still, he felt nervous about it. "Is this really all right?"  
  
"Hey, we're wearing gloves. We won't get caught." Kakashi examined the hands to be guilty for the next crime and Gai's undoing.  
  
=============  
  
"FIRE!" One of the chefs raced through the kitchen. "Everyone! Evacuate the building."  
  
One by one, each chef turned off their stoves.  
  
All but one chef.  
  
This chef forgot the safety procedures and threw his towel down on the stovetop before evacuating with the rest.  
  
A fire caught onto the towel and that is how the real fire began.  
  
=============  
  
Gai and Iruka made sure that everyone was evacuated, monitoring the doorways cautiously.  
  
Iruka's eye caught a girl whose ankle had been trampled on and before he knew it he had offered to carry her out. "Gai. Can you check if there's anyone left in the building."  
  
"I'm ahead of you," shouted Gai as he ran deeper into the restaurant. Iruka's attention was called back to the girl whose life was in danger.  
  
"Really, Gai," Iruka said to himself as he carried the girl out of the building. "You're really too good a person."  
  
============  
  
Gai entered the back hallway, he was a good Jounen and reinforcements would be here to help out. But something felt fishy.  
  
Why would anyone start a fire like this?  
  
A violent conflict with a dining politician? An unloved waiter? A careless Chef?  
  
Gai dodged a blow to the back of his neck.  
  
Barely.  
  
He turned in time to see.  
  
Kakashi?  
  
Gai raised his hand and laughed at his friends missed punch. "Enough joking around. Let's get out of here and wait for the people to do their jobs."  
  
Kakashi continue to fan his silent flames. "You knew!" Kakashi spat, he was angrier than in their usual fights.  
  
Gai rubbed the back of his head, "Kakashi, what going on?" Gai only frowned when his friend didn't respond.  
  
Kakashi pointed his finger menacingly at Gai. "Always trying to one up me!" Kakashi launched a kick at his friend's head.  
  
Gai's eyes widened as he opened his clenched hand to block the attack. Even though there was no blow to his head Kakashi managed to draw blood.  
  
Kakashi threw some punches and kicks at Gai that he barely managed to dodge due to the narrow hallway.  
  
He leaned against the wall. 'It's hot, the fire must be in the room next to us. No. Kakashi wouldn't start a fire like that.' Gai moved to the wall opposite of it slowly. "Kakashi! I was just trying to have dinner with Iruka-sensei. Listen we got to get out."  
  
"Liar." He responded coldly. He had the upper hand now that Gai was cornered. There was no escape route now. 'Gai can fight back whenever he wants. I just have to make sure I can find that opening and let him have it."  
  
"You like Iruka-sensei." Gai thought aloud.  
  
Kakashi's heel connected to Gai's cheek despite Gai having caught it.  
  
"So it's true, before I just estimated it." Gai shoved Kakashi away and gave himself more breathing room. "Now I know," Gai pointed to his friend directing his saintly knowledge to the misguided lover. "Be a man, Kakashi and show him your true feelings."  
  
"Those two things contradict each other!"  
  
"That's not the point." Gai remembered something. He blinked. "Isn't there supposed to be a fire. We should evacuate."  
  
Kakashi's mind was on other matters as redirecting his anger. He lifted a box and threw it at the wall opposite to the one that Gai leaned on in fury. The wall caved in and something rolled out of the box into the fire, after bouncing off the shelf. Clanked as it hit something and began to hiss.  
  
Gai sweat dropped and a bad feeling overtook him. "That. Doesn't feel right."  
  
============  
  
"I caught this guy using a illusion," said a waitress pulling Lee by the ear to a frightened and angry mob.  
  
A dishwasher wiped his forehead, "that's good. I couldn't move the dangerous box back into the cupboard in time."  
  
The restaurant owner smiled, "thank goodness there was no real fire."  
  
Iruka sighed in relief as well. At least now he knew that Gai was safe.  
  
Just then the kitchen decided to explode sending fire and debris everywhere.  
  
The owner could only stare as the fire spread faster and consumed the building, powerless. "My restaurant!"  
  
Iruka watched as the flames crawled out of the windows and climbed the brick.  
  
"Gai."  
  
"I'm right here," Gai waved, his arm around a disgruntled Kakashi's shoulder. Kakashi grunted annoyed that he had been the one to walk away from the scene with more injuries. "Kakashi was with me. He's been great help."  
  
"Hello Iruka," Kakashi mumbled, he felt like a guilty child all of a sudden waiting to be eaten up by his mother. He looked up at Iruka and froze at what he saw.  
  
Iruka was crying.  
  
He turned his head and snorted to himself. Probably for Gai.  
  
"Kakashi! Gai! You guys are okay!" Iruka embraced the two of them happily. Glad they were both safe.  
  
'Three is company, Kakashi.' His thoughts haunted him. Kakashi pushed Gai away, closer to Iruka. Iruka held onto Gai, puzzled. "I better leave you two alone." His eyes met Iruka's for the third time today. 'Yeah.. They'll be happy together.' He felt sad, but happy for the two. 'Lucky bastards.'  
  
Gai walked up to his friend and stood by his side. Kakashi wanted to shout. 'No! We're not kids anymore! You won! Fair and square.' He looked in the opposite direction.  
  
"Kakashi." Gai gave the suitor a HARD slap on the back. "Go for it!"  
  
Kakashi, absorbed by his inner thoughts was tripped easily, but luckily Iruka caught him mid fall.  
  
"I'm going to try to bail Lee out. Have fun. Kakashi." Gai whistled, he thought to himself with little guilt or shame. 'If this fails, then tough luck. If this succeeds.' Gai, patted his worried to death pupil on his head. 'Then. I guess I'm a hero.'  
  
"Gai sensei," Lee faced his instructor with a fountain of tears pouring down face.  
  
"You know what you have to do."  
  
"Yes, sensei." Lee hung his head, 'I deserve this to be tempted by evil.'  
  
Gai raised his fist in the air, "a hundred laps around the village!"  
  
"Yes, Gai-sensei!"  
  
============  
  
"........."  
  
"Kakashi." Iruka helped Kakashi stand.  
  
Iruka blushed when Kakashi looked at him.  
  
They both stood there, silently. Stealing glances from each other.  
  
"I called Gai out." Iruka confessed, Kakashi closed his eyes waiting for the killing move.  
  
" To ask him about you."  
  
"..........." Kakashi was needless to say stunned.  
  
Iruka bowed. "I'm sorry. I hope you're not upset." Kakashi shook his head side to side, slowly.  
  
Kakashi then did the unthinkable in either of their minds.  
  
He kissed Iruka.  
  
(On the cheek.)  
  
(Yes, Kakashi reads Icha Icha Paradise, but you know. Only virgins probably read that stuff. J/K)  
  
"I'm happy." And Kakashi smiled for the first time a genuine smile, in fact his smile grew tens times larger. "I've been trying to get you to come out with me."  
  
"Would you like to come--" Iruka thought that the burning restaurant wouldn't be the best place and already a firefighter was awaiting their exit. Iruka thought and the first thing he thought popped out of his mouth, "my place." Iruka took a step away from Kakashi. "We could talk about things."  
  
Kakashi hid his excitement well. He had had taken a deep breath and exhaled, relaxing his body again.  
  
Icha Icha Paradise had taught him that much.  
  
"Iruka.."  
  
"Yes, Kakashi?"  
  
"I would like to know all about you."  
  
========  
  
"And Kakashi and Iruka lived happily every after. The end." Kakashi pulled the sheets around Iruka and himself. She pressed her body against to warm up the Iruka next to her and lull him into sleep. "And the moral is. Love will make you crazy."  
  
"What kind of story is that?" Iruka was still tied to the bed and girl, I mean, woman Kakashi refused to allow her mate to escape. "You didn't say the truth of what happened to Lee or the people at the restaurant!"  
  
Kakashi hugged her lover, she giggled and kissed Iruka on the cheek, "it's a love story."  
  
"Ahhh." He noted. It still made no sense. 'Kakashi is taking this act too far,' but still Iruka melted. He was in heaven.  
  
"Kak--- Er. Mistress."  
  
"Mistress of Iruka." Iruka felt a warm hand on his inner thigh, "I like that better."  
  
Before Iruka could protest Kakashi disappeared under the sheets, a single sentence raced through his mind 'God. I've created a monster."  
  
A chuckle was heard from under the sheets. "Just relax, Iruka, and tell me." Kakashi poked his head out from under the sheets. "Tell me? What do you want?"  
  
Iruka answered back without any hesitation. "I want to make you happy."  
  
The lump in the sheets moved mischievously. "Then I'm going to do this."  
  
"KA-KAKASHI!!!!!!!!!!" Was screamed in the night.  
  
Somewhere a shadowy figure shivered.  
  
==============  
  
Authors Note:  
  
Workin' backwards lets all walks backwards.  
  
Sorry. I'm writing slowly.  
  
Hope to update tomorrow.  
  
==============  
  
Replies to Reviews Section  
  
Dark Angel Kotori, you're confused! So am I!  
  
[Gazes at a far off star] You'll be mine! I'll stalk you, I will, you mine I will!  
  
Wuffieluver, KakaIru. Yeah. YEAH! (Blinks)  
  
no one u no, It sure doesn't. Doragon, lucky me. No?  
  
Amamkasu Toko, sorry for the long wait.  
  
Shadow of Arashi, I think now. If you're a shadow and it's dark won't you disappear? Gah. Next chapter. Soooo~n.  
  
Morien Alexander, thank you. At the end you'll be so torn. you won't know what!  
  
Annachan, I'm glad the extra pleased you. Gods I'm late! DON'T DIE! Oops.. Damn.  
  
Sadistic Demon! It'll live! I'll give it ten blood transfusions!  
  
Athravan. Hmmm. A baby.. Maybe.  
  
Don't worry Nemi. Naruto'll be all right in the end. He'll get laid or whatever he wants. Unless..  
  
[Kneels]  
  
Kek keh keh.  
  
Elusitania, I'm just mixing it up. Really everyone has a good and bad side. Just like in the real Naruto series.  
  
Dan Inverse.. Fox. Kun?  
  
Panatlatic! [Raises fist] Kakairu!  
  
No one I know! I'm sorrrrry~! Sorry!  
  
Atomstar, dun worry. All forgiven. Natsume and kids? Which one? Shhh.. Secrets. I'm almost finished the next chapter.  
  
=================  
  
Preview:  
  
[Enter from Stage left]  
  
Gaara: I love you when you're in the rain.  
  
[Kakashi: More passion]  
  
[Gaara rolls eyes]  
  
Gaara: I LOVE YOU WHEN I SEE YOU IN THE RAIN!  
  
Naruto: I love you too.  
  
[Both blush]  
  
Next Chapter: Departure.  
  
[Kakashi throws down script and stomps with left foot]  
  
Kakashi: Give me credit too!  
  
[Review the next chapter. Yes. The NEXT chapter] 


	13. Spring Rain

A Sexy Jutsu  
  
By Mukumuku  
  
=============  
  
"Don't open your eyes. Don't speak. Don't try to move. If you move, you try to get up, you'll automatically die."  
  
Naruto lay on Gaara's bed with his eyes closed, his whole body felt numb. He didn't know what was going on and felt like a corpse, unable to move. Was he still dreaming? His eyes were closed and he couldn't will them open.  
  
The voice was too feminine to be that of the nine tails fox's.  
  
"I'm going to pull several needles out so you can see and speak. If you get up, you will still die," the voice was getting louder and louder. "If you scream for help, I'll kill you."  
  
Naruto slowly regained control of his ability to speak and blinked his eyes to see Yuri, pointing a kunai at his throat. Her sweet expression was replaced with a mask as cold as any other killer.  
  
"Who are you? Where is Gaara? Natsume Aya?" She asked, slowly and calmly.  
  
"Yuri, it's me, Natsume Aya." He had never seen Yuri like this. He looked at his bare chest at the needles sticking out from in his skin. It would have sent a chill down his spine if he could feel it.  
  
Yuri held her position, not believing Naruto's words. "How do I know for sure."  
  
"Let me have control of my body again."  
  
"No," she replied, the Kunai let out a trickle of blood.  
  
Naruto looked up, if he broke eye contact she'd kill him for sure.  
  
"Ask Gaara, he's in the living room on the floor."  
  
She stood up and unlocked the door.  
  
"If you're lying, at least Gaara will tell me." Yuri opened the door and moved it slowly; "if he says you're lying I'll kill you."  
  
Naruto listened to her descend down the stairs, loudly. He seemed to want her presence known ever though she had just tried to kill her own teacher.  
  
"Gaa~aaaAARRRR~Ra! -Ra! -Ra!"  
  
[Thud]  
  
"Yuri!"  
  
"You have a man in your bed."  
  
[Thud]  
  
"Yuri!"  
  
[Thud]  
  
"He says his name is Naruto and~ Natsume at the same time."  
  
"Shhh. Shhhh. You'll wake the Hokage up!"  
  
"SA~SUKE~!!!"  
  
[Sounds of glass shattering]  
  
"Yuri! Control yourself!"  
  
"No! Answer the question!"  
  
"YURI!"  
  
[Sounds of sand sliding]  
  
Naruto looked at the ceiling and waited for Gaara and Yuri to rescue him.  
  
Hopefully.  
  
If the Yuri he knew remembered he was there.  
  
==========  
  
"Sorry, Natsume-sensei," Yuri wore the sand graveyard like a sleeping bag which made it easier for both Naruto and Gaara to take turns carrying her to the outskirts of town.  
  
"It's all right," "Yuri. Where did you learn that."  
  
"My mother." Yuri said, eyes sparkling.  
  
"Ah." Naruto remembered that Yuri worshipped her mother and wished to be like her. However the absence of her mother figure often caused them both grief.  
  
Yuri wobbled in her cocoon if sand as if she were a caterpillar, "can you let me go now?"  
  
"No." Gaara looked like he was having trouble trying to carry her but he still had a smirk on his face. He held her in his arms like a baby, but it still didn't  
  
"Sensei." She turned her head to an unsympathetic Natsume, forced to pick up his jutsu and his lack of sleep added to all the events of the night not to mention his horrible nightmare..."  
  
"Don't sensei me. It wouldn't be like that if only you would cooperate and be a good little Yuri." This caused Yuri to flop out of Gaara's arms onto the floor. Gaara tried to catch the girl without having to call back the sand into his gourd, but to no avail.  
  
Yuri crawled out his reach.  
  
Natsume rubbed her temple annoyed over the giggles of Yuri and angry shouts of Gaara. "I'm taking you home to your father."  
  
Yuri curled up into a ball and wailed. "Noooooo-no-no-no no!"  
  
Gaara took this chance to lift her off the ground. He looked at the heavens, his eyes thankful that they had chosen to leave the village. "No! I ran away from home. I won't go back!"  
  
Natsume's eye twitched, "what was that?" Naruto thought of all the problems it would cause.  
  
"I'm not getting married. I'm going to run away." Yuri beamed and opened her mouth expecting a treat. When she realized that there would be none, she closed her mouth and continued speaking. "Natsume-sensei. Will you help me?"  
  
"Run away?" Natsume looked at the girl. Had she finally gone over the hill? "You haven't thought this through at all, have you?" He waited for her answer. Gaara looked at the girl in his arms with amusement.  
  
"I have somewhere in mind." Natsume and Gaara watched and waited for her reply. "I. I like to eat fish." Yuri said with a nod.  
  
"You're joking." Naruto felt bad for the girl and sometimes he didn't know what he would do, but his students were like his kids. Especially Yuri.  
  
And Yuri hardly changed her mind.  
  
He gave Gaara the look of, 'you know what I have to do.'  
  
Gaara dropped his head. 'Damn.' He had to love-luck, survival luck. But no luck with his love life.  
  
A bead of sweat rolled down Gaara's face, he wiped it away when another bead of sweat ran down the side of his face. Gaara continued to wipe beads of sweats of his head when he realized he wasn't sweating at all.  
  
"It's raining." Gaara mouthed to the sky. He placed the girl onto the ground as he called the sand back into his gourd. He moved closer to Naruto who could only look back at him in shock.  
  
Yuri who faced impending rain, blinked. "Natsume sensei, is this rain?"  
  
"For the first time in a long time." Gaara replied.  
  
"What the.." The celebration came to a sudden halt, "everyone, inside!" Some people in rain inside, others in shock just stood there as the rain came down. Sleepy villagers looked out their windows and stared at the miracle. Most of the younger children had never seen it, ran out to play. Droplets dancing as they hit the ground.  
  
The rain started slowly and then after twenty minutes it came down hard.  
  
Rain coming down in a place that never thought it would ever see rain.  
  
"What should we do?" Asked a confused citizen.  
  
"What's going on."  
  
"Gaara." Yuri looked at her Kazekage and tugged at his shirt. But Gaara could only smile and pat her head. "It's just like. Back then." Natsume smiled back warmly, as the rain came down on top of them. "Go for it," Gaara nudged the girl forward, "and take Aya with you."  
  
Yuri stood in the rain for a second absorbing what she was hearing. "Say what?"  
  
Natsume stepped closer to Gaara until he was pressing her ear to his chest. She had to hear him better and again. "What she said."  
  
"Only this time." Gaara wrapped his arms around his girl/boyfriend, Naruto understood what Gaara was feeling now. And how they both felt about the rain. "Come back. to me."  
  
"Gaara!!" Natsume shouted at him, "what if something happens and I can't come back?"  
  
Gaara watched the features on Natsume's face, "Nats-Naruto. Fine then. In order to give me more security." Gaara fumbled his hand in his pocket for the ring. He found nothing. Usually in his culture he'd have to go into the desert and find a desert flower but he could never work it into his schedule. Plus it was too suspicious. More than he would have liked.  
  
Gaara cleared his throat and looked at Natsume with all seriousness in his face.  
  
"Marry me when you come back." He slid the ring onto Natsume's ring finger and watched her reaction, "from this point on you are my fiancee and no one can lay a finger on you without invoking my wrath."  
  
Naruto felt like he had gone into shock again. "I'll." He raised his finger, wagging it at her. "Get back to you."  
  
Gaara almost gaped at her response, but Natsume's lips continued to move. "Most likely." Naruto nudged his lover back to the real world, "yes."  
  
"I will."  
  
". Shit! It's nearly morning." Yuri began to run away ahead to their destination, "Natsume-sensei. We have to hurry to the border." Even though she was trying not to be suspicious, the road she walked on would always include screaming.  
  
Gaara attempted to confess under the blinding rain and screaming girl, "Naruto. I love you."  
  
"Gaara." Natsume glomped Gaara causing him to sink into the already wet mud.  
  
"Natsume-sensei!"  
  
Naruto twitched, "I'm coming!" He kissed Gaara quickly on the lips for a goodbye. "I'll be back as soon as I can." Their hands broke apart as they parted. "I love you."  
  
Naruto turned his back on Gaara. Both reminiscing about all the times they had gotten to know each other. "Something good will come of this." Gaara muttered. He was slight sad, but the rain always made him happy. Because of the rain he met Naruto.  
  
"Achoo!" Gaara rubbed his nose. "Damn. I'm going to get a cold."  
  
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Author's Note  
  
I'd write faster. But my dad's complaining about computer use. (That's why updates are so slow.) I'll try to be faster.  
  
This is sooo short. I wanted to write more. Gwah. Thinking of doing a fic of when Gaara and Naruto met.  
  
La~ I sleep on it.  
  
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Review Responses  
  
Morien Alexander: Thanks. I'm soo Gaara x Naruto biased. LOL. I'll try to support SasuNaru more.  
  
WuffieLuver: I have something planned for Gaara and Sasuke?  
  
Shadow of Arashi: No! You're a good reviewer. You guys keep me going.  
  
No one you know: Actually I draw serious doujinshi for fun. but on my own time and no one pays me and I don't get sued.  
  
Annachan: Sorry. I'm slow. Gwah. Rawr.  
  
Delas: I update now.  
  
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Next Chapter  
  
Sakura: Naruto! Iruka: Naruto! Kakashi: Naruto! Neji: Naruto! Rikka: Natsume-sensei who is really a man???  
  
Gaara: Achoo. [sniffle] I have a bad premonition.  
  
Water + Sand = Mud 


End file.
